Even living with Edward and his amazing detachable limbs had never made it any easier. The eye was simply drawn to gaps in the human body. It was human nature, he thought, to notice when something that should be there wasn't.
He didn't want to think about how ironic that was, and so, he didn't.
I'm going to assume the irony of 'something that should be there' is a reference to Edward. If so, that is a really gripping comparison. Actually, the 'missing pieces' not only works well with Ed's physical state and his current absence, but also Alfons's sense that something is off with the Thule Society and that he's overlooking something very important. It adds to the ominous feel this story is taking on, and the dreams Alfons is having where he slips in and out of Alphonse's consciousness play nicely into this theme as well.
I want to also note, if I haven't before with your previous works as I know I've mentioned in comments I've left militsa's stuff, that you have a hand for adding in just enough detail to give your world and it's characters
( ... )
I've always been enamored with your writing, and I really do like this piece. You characterize Alfons so well! The whole thing between Al and Al is something I look forward to, as well each character's growth. :D
Ah, so I wasn't crazy and you hadn't put this up on Lj! I still love this--I think it's really one of your top five literary works! Did you change anything from when you put it on ff.net to here? I don't think I saw any changes
( ... )
Also, I can't write convincing historical-political stuff, so the stuff you put in this chapter about "the people moving over to the thule" and the way the hierarchies of age and status within the Thule are really refreshing, intriguing, and add so much!
Thank you for your long review! I appreciate you catching so many of the little things...actually, this fic has changed from FFN, which is why there is a discrepancy between Gratia and Greta XD; (I thought I had rooted all the old spellings out, but apparently not.)
As for pain and violence, ehehehe...if you want spoilers, I'll tell you that this fic is related to mikkeneko's L'homme Machine, which is DEFINITELY bad news for Our Hero Edward XD;;;;; As far as Alfons's morning routine...I'm not sure if it'll be exactly what you're looking for, but we do get to see a bit more into his personal life when he next appears, so hopefully that will do it <3
If L'homme is the fic I think it is, then I indeed will be VERY happy: I've always wished there was more of it. Is it the one that involves being strapped to a table? (Or was that someone else's? I'm gonna have to go check. :/) But, I digress: ehehehehee. Thanks cryo. *rubs hands and plots*
I'm glad I'll get to see some of Hei's daily routine. I mean I'm glad you're not going out of your way to spoil me, but I think that it's a good opportunity for the story. Glad to see you were already on it! ^__^
If you want to know, the Greta part is when Alfons first mentions her, when he's picking up the vegetables? Well, it's before he gets to her place, in any case. xD;
Have you noticed how no one has given Alfons the nickname Alf? Something I can really be glad about not happening. xD!
Good luck! (write fast!) <3 can't wait for more. :3
Wow. The timing was so perfect, for you to begin working on one of the connected soul stories. Loved the little bits here and there that make things interesting, like the cab driver who missing a few fingers, and Alfons' supervisor how his words strike at all the right points.
<333 I can't wait to see the rest of your interpretation!
<3 I'm so glad that you are enjoying this. And I have something I want to send you as a belated holiday present too, now that I'm back to the wide world of LJ!
Comments 55
He didn't want to think about how ironic that was, and so, he didn't.
I'm going to assume the irony of 'something that should be there' is a reference to Edward. If so, that is a really gripping comparison. Actually, the 'missing pieces' not only works well with Ed's physical state and his current absence, but also Alfons's sense that something is off with the Thule Society and that he's overlooking something very important. It adds to the ominous feel this story is taking on, and the dreams Alfons is having where he slips in and out of Alphonse's consciousness play nicely into this theme as well.
I want to also note, if I haven't before with your previous works as I know I've mentioned in comments I've left militsa's stuff, that you have a hand for adding in just enough detail to give your world and it's characters ( ... )
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I've always been enamored with your writing, and I really do like this piece. You characterize Alfons so well! The whole thing between Al and Al is something I look forward to, as well each character's growth. :D
Reply
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Also, I can't write convincing historical-political stuff, so the stuff you put in this chapter about "the people moving over to the thule" and the way the hierarchies of age and status within the Thule are really refreshing, intriguing, and add so much!
Reply
As for pain and violence, ehehehe...if you want spoilers, I'll tell you that this fic is related to mikkeneko's L'homme Machine, which is DEFINITELY bad news for Our Hero Edward XD;;;;; As far as Alfons's morning routine...I'm not sure if it'll be exactly what you're looking for, but we do get to see a bit more into his personal life when he next appears, so hopefully that will do it <3
Reply
If L'homme is the fic I think it is, then I indeed will be VERY happy: I've always wished there was more of it. Is it the one that involves being strapped to a table? (Or was that someone else's? I'm gonna have to go check. :/) But, I digress: ehehehehee. Thanks cryo. *rubs hands and plots*
I'm glad I'll get to see some of Hei's daily routine. I mean I'm glad you're not going out of your way to spoil me, but I think that it's a good opportunity for the story. Glad to see you were already on it! ^__^
If you want to know, the Greta part is when Alfons first mentions her, when he's picking up the vegetables? Well, it's before he gets to her place, in any case. xD;
Have you noticed how no one has given Alfons the nickname Alf? Something I can really be glad about not happening. xD!
Good luck! (write fast!) <3 can't wait for more. :3
Reply
<333 I can't wait to see the rest of your interpretation!
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