Comments | cryogenia: [fic] Forward the Machine (AT, Action/Adventure) - Chapter 6

cryogenia

[fic] Forward the Machine (AT, Action/Adventure) - Chapter 6 - Part II

Jan 29, 2009 16:50

Eckart lead him back along the corridor several paces, much faster than Dr. Kessler had. Alfons kept up gamely, though he could feel himself starting to wheeze. His lungs were like a pair of billows in his chest, fanning the flames that were searing him with each additional inflation.

“I’ve heard a lot about you,” the director said in a ( Read more... )

fma, machina, fic

Comments 17

mikkeneko January 30 2009, 01:30:36 UTC

This is a fantastic chapter. I'm glad to get back to Hei (not that I don't love Al too, but this is where the real story is!) We see the world in such color and detail through him, and Hei himself comes through so strongly. The ending of this scene was just perfect -- exultation and terror all at the same time. MUST READ MORE.

cryogenia January 30 2009, 04:05:17 UTC

Thank you - I'm so glad you like how Hei came out <3

militsa January 30 2009, 04:45:58 UTC

militsa January 30 2009, 04:46:31 UTC

cryogenia January 30 2009, 05:03:51 UTC

XDD You, my good lady, are a super spoon! Don't kill yourself D:

But I am glad you liked the idea. It's funny, er, at no point before today was Alfons supposed to be an alchemist O.o He just turned out to have different plans XD

hikaru_9 January 30 2009, 08:58:17 UTC

I LOVE (!!!) Hei coming to understand Ed a bit, and now he knows Ed wasn't completely crazy! <333

cryogenia January 30 2009, 20:31:42 UTC

Yeah...although I confess I had not planned until about three minutes before I wrote it for Alfons to be an alchemist ._. We'll see what happens XD

sky_dark January 30 2009, 13:03:46 UTC

It gave me goosebumps <33333

cryogenia January 30 2009, 20:32:00 UTC

ILU <3333

semipertinent January 30 2009, 19:43:12 UTC

Oh, the scientific jargon is just lovely. It's rare that a fic tries to tackle the finer aspects of alchemy without making it sound like complete and total BS. You've not only done that, but also given a clear view of the physics involved in Alfons' field as well. The way you described Alfons' perceptions - describing the physical changes of the reaction - was stellar. You obviously know your stuff, lady. ;)

cryogenia January 30 2009, 20:30:59 UTC

Thank you so much :) I am glad you appreciate the jargon. I worry sometimes that I will make it come off like technobabble, but I am trying anyway because I think science is as important to Alfons as alchemy is to Edward :) Al and Ed are supposed to be geniuses in their field, so it's only fitting an alter!Al would be just as much of prodigy in his own.