i feel bad because i feel the madness in my veins. i love ian though and i don't want to be in a relationship with anyone else. i just feel kanky y'know. my other boyfriend says he likes me in green. hm, i like me in green too.

updates are always good...i remember i used to be able to remember everything that happened in two weeks span because i'd look at a calendar and i'd just remember. i haven't had a calendar for over 6 months. i can't remember shit. while ian was gone he left me a comment on myspace. i was soooo excited hahaha, i'm a loser.

wednesdayas soon as ian ( Read more... )

so last weekend i gotta admit i was fucking psycho. i got mad at ian and i talked shit to everyone. the next day i call ian and i just wanna talk. i didn't want to break up or anything i just wanted to talk. then he says he wants to go on a break and i trip out and i say we might as well break up. i freak out i don't want to party on saturday ( Read more... )

i don't know if i just let him go or if i don't give up and work on him. mike tu is a good friend. i have good friends. everyone has been real comforting and honest with me. i'm glad no one is feeding me bullshit and talking shit about him because we both messed up.

last night was tony's party and there was a stripper. gilda got the stripper for tony so explain to me why ian is licking whipped cream off of her ass? i want revenge. i want satisfaction. i want it to be over. it hurts i'm mad and i'm disappointed. i want apologies and i want a lot of them. i want explanations.

so i guess i'm sick of it. this time last year i was going out with josh and i stopped seeing people outside of him and i was really dedicating myself to him. then he got a new job making more. then we had less time for each other. i started hanging out with my friends more and didn't like the idea of waiting around for him to call me when he ( Read more... )

so i applied for a new position at work as a quality analyst. idk if i even have enough experience under my belt. the main quality analyst at work knows that i am always willing to participate in calibrations [sp?] and quality optimizations. she knows who i am, she knows i'm good, so hopefully she remembers me when i go to interview. so the day i ( Read more... )

1) Are you a chick or a dude ( Read more... )

:(((( my boyfriend said i'm not cool anymore because i don't smoke. fucker.
i got so trashed last night. idk wtf i did. i'm so drunk this morning. fuuuuck. why am i so retarded? hahha. its coo i guess.

hahah so what's new... yesterday at work i went to my old dept. to chill because they're allowed to have food at their desks and it was cinco de mayo pot lucks galore. so me and some coworkers were talking and one of them asked me why i wasn't living with ian yet and i said i lived with my ex-boyfriend and i didn't want to live with someone unless ( Read more... )