My life is a mess right now. Everything I'm comfortable and used to is disappearing-one after the other after the other. Almost two weeks ago my mom discovered that my dad's been drinking again and talking to a woman of whom we all disapprove of. I felt really hurt and betrayed that my dad would promise me last month that he would never put us ( Read more... )

I just got back from a walk around Phalen Lake with Jetta Bear. Now I'm sitting in the kitchen cooking some chili for dinner. I'm not really that great of a cook, or rather I haven't really given it much of a shot. But this week I'm finding it comforting to concentrate on something as menial as cooking dinner. It gives me something else to focus on ( Read more... )

I feel like my life is falling apart. Today my life finally came crashing down. Last Friday my mom discovered my dad's been drinking again and talking to the woman he cheated on my mom with last fall. The past several days I walked around numbly, completing everyday chores and tasks, going to work, going to bed, rinsing and repeating. I wasn't sad ( Read more... )

Yesterday I broke down and texted Justin. After not talking for over a month, and thinking about him every day, I had to. We've been talking ever since. It's so hard to know that you're in love with someone but can't be with them. It would have worked if I wasn't living in Winona, but life threw that curveball and we both knew that it just wasn't ( Read more... )

School is in full swing now. I typically spend Monday through Friday going to classes during the day and my nights holed up in the library or doing homework at my apartment. I've tried to go out several Thursdays in a row now, but with my night class, homework load, and knowing that I'll have to be awake enough the next day to drive back two hours ( Read more... )

Do you ever feel like you're not good enough? Like no matter how hard you study, it's never enough. No matter how much you put into work, you can always put in more. No matter how much time you spend with family and friends, you're still short time with someone. And most of all, no matter how hard you try and please yourself, you're self critique ( Read more... )

My drive to St. Paul and back to Winona gives me four straight hours by myself. Four straight hours to listen to music, think to myself, and contemplate whatever is on my mind at that particular moment. I am left with nobody but myself and my thoughts. I decided on my drive back to Winona this morning that I would start journaling some of my ( Read more... )

1 1/2 WEEKS LEFT OF SUMMER CLASSES!!! I think I can...I think I can...I think I can...I KNOW I CAN...I KNOW I CAN....I KNOW I CAN....

:-)

I have this sickening feeling all over again that my family is hanging on by a thin thread about to break...and it scares the hell outta me...I can't do that rollercoaster ride all over again...I'm hoping it's just my imagination...but my intuition tells me its something more....

Right now I am incredibly exhausted and beat. This week I have been working my butt off trying to aquire hours at both my jobs so I can pay for my new car, summer tuition, and continuous schooling costs as well as random bills. It seems like the world revolves around money and I hate it. But anyways...I've been working two shifts...mornings at ( Read more... )