Went to bed last night at 7PM and didn't wake till 7AM. I must have needed it. Felt refreshed or at least as much as I had done in a month. Work went OK, I was very proud of myself. I held it together all day and acted normal. I am sure she / no one couldn’t see the broken man behind the facade. I smiled a bit, even had lunch.

She looks brighter ( Read more... )

I'm not doing very well. I feel crushed. Can hardly move. I went to work but couldn’t stay because of the sadness I feel. Everyone around me is worried for me but I do not want them to be. I hate making everyone else sad.
She has been so nice today trying to comfort me. She even came to the house but it hurts so much I asked her not to do it again ( Read more... )

I let her go, I had too. I couldn’t stand to see her in so much pain. Last night I told her I couldn’t see her anymore or even hang with her.
I can't stop crying, I have lay awake all night I am so tired. My heart has died and my soul has been crushed. I did it for you my love. Please be happy now for I would fade to nothing if I did this and you ( Read more... )

Well today was quite sad. She is hardly talking or looking at me. Her friend left for home so now she is feeling down about that as well. I don't seem to be able to do anything to make her feel even 1% better.

She says its not me / us and she just needs time to be sad and I do get that. She insists we are still what she wants but I have my doubts. I ( Read more... )

I don't know what to think today. Have not seen her but have had a couple of texts but nothing about us (although I did text her how I was feeling ( Read more... )

Shishite to issho ai nakunatta 
shishite nai kibo hidari
ano naku ryu 
yokotaeru shita ni shinu

And with love gone
and no hope left
the crying dragon
lay down to die

I don't think I can do this anymore. I have to end it for her sake. Can't think straight, hard to breathe.

We love walking on the beach, watching the sea. Collecting cats eyes. She's so beautiful to me. My God I can't hold it together today. We went swimming at about this time last year in the ocean, it was freezing but we did it. I can't see the ( Read more... )

I woke up this morning having had a couple of hour’s sleep which is more than the rest of the week put together. I felt really sad and just did not know what to think about the situation. I decided to pop over for a cup of coffee to make sure she was OK. I was quite nervous about it to be honest.
Waking her up even at 10am was not the best thing I ( Read more... )

"The deepest friendships often come from a chance encounter"

This is a quote that my love likes. It is so very true. We met due to something I was advertising. She rang me and within seconds we both knew there was something very special going on. We talked far longer than was necessary and with such humor. I can not remember when I had felt so ( Read more... )

Why am I writing this? I have no idea but I feel the need to let it all out before I burst. I have no one I can talk to about this and so you are my listening post.

I wait now to see if she texts me. My heart is bursting in my chest, beating so fast. I want to rush around to her place but I can’t because I know she needs space. I won’t see her ( Read more... )