For the past six weeks, they've been running a karaoke contest here in town. It started with five weeks of qualifying--max of ten entrance each night, top two qualify for the seminals, two nights a week. I made it in on Night 2, knockin' 'em dead with a stirring rendition of Frank Sinatra's "My Way." Even stood up on a table at the end, and the ( Read more... )

Janice looked radiant in her white dress. This was her big day, and all eyes were on her. Her eyes were only one one other ( Read more... )

The phone speaker made a buzzing noise, followed by a nasal voice. "Mr. Benchley? These men would like to open a specialized account ( Read more... )

He barely noticed the traffic on the interstate. All he could think of was her. How could she do this to him ( Read more... )

Lt. Roger Goodwin held his gun by the grip, using his pinky and forefinger. "See? I don't want to hurt you. Nobody wants to hurt you. We're all friends here ( Read more... )

I swear to Christ, Frank. If the next words out of your mouth are "Cock Band," you are fired.

(Note: This is a quick and lazy sequel to one of last year's stories, which can be found here:)

http://cursethedark.livejournal.com/2007/11/24/

Obama will be our next president ( Read more... )

Let's turn back the clock to four years ago, which was the last time we had to put up with this shit. Since most of us were biting the bullet and voting for a candidate that we weren't real big on, I figured I'd come up with a way to make sure we got some enjoyment out of it. Thus was born: the Presidential Election Drinking Game ( Read more... )

He didn't even have time to scream. He only managed a thick gurgle as I plunged the knife into his chest. He fell backwards, dead as soon as he hit the tarp that I'd already laid out. Good thing, too--not only does it minimize the mess, but it makes it easier to move ( Read more... )

We can't say enough how excited we are to have you in our company. If you'll follow me, we'll show you to your office ( Read more... )