I look at other people and wonder if they could possibly hate themselves as much as I do. Do they beat themselves up as much as I do everyday? I don't want to be alone with these thoughts that control my life and have changed the course of any life that I once dreamed I would have. I know deep down that not many people would choose to get up every ( Read more... )

I heard the comment today," It's so much easier to learn to love the things you have than be angry about the things you don't." That statement has really got me thinking. How much time in my life have I wasted wishing for something more? The answer....WAY TOO MUCH!!!!!!! I have literally spent countless hours and tears wishing that I had more or ( Read more... )

Why is it that our self esteem is so tied up in the physical? Why is it that a woman thinks shes a failure if her skirt doesn't zip, even if she made the top sales in her company that week? Women spend so much time living up to the "ideal" And just what is the ideal? the whole mega multimillion dollar fashion industry is devoted to promoting it. ( Read more... )

A heart is not a play thing ( Read more... )

I am getting ansy, starting to pace ( Read more... )

I don't know who I am anymore. I just feel so tired on the inside. Just drained. I wish I was dead so I could slip into the endless dark oblivion. It's like I have this creature inside me sucking the life out of me. As it grows it takes me with it. Everytime I start to get better it wraps its sinewy tentacles around my heart suffocating me. It ( Read more... )

When she decided to commit suicide ( Read more... )

I'm lost. I don't know what it's like to laugh and play, to be spontaneous, creative and carefree. I don't know what it means to goof off and to be free from worries, to take a wait and see attitude toward life. Going with the flow is an alien concept to me. I've made a habit of being serious, controlled and driven. I don't know what it's like to ( Read more... )

I do not want to die until I have made the most of my talent and cultivated the seed that was placed in me until the last small twig has grown. It is so easy to fall into a trap of self pity, thinking I have no purpose, fearing life will take me nowhere and dreading everyones expectations of me.I should be able to turn my thinking around at any ( Read more... )

I have many secrets ( Read more... )