So here we are...
January 2009!

Exciting huh?

Well I thought I'd start by saying, two weeks ago is when I knew I couldn't carry on the way I have been. After being sick for so long and three doctors telling me to lose weight, I've taken the steps to lose it... I started WeightWatchers 1/10/2009 and so far after one week I lost 4 pounds! I'm so ( Read more... )

I've been thinking about him every day for the last 4 days.

I miss so much...
I don't want to believe he's gone.
It get so hard sometimes to wake up and face my day
My brother
My soul-mate
My love
I always felt like he genuinly cared for me
I don't know why this is so overwhelming for me sometimes...

It's been almost a year....
In April it will be a year....

( Read more... )

The is something written on my heart
Something never to be removed;
Yet causes me so much pain,
Tattooed across the blackend dust is the name I long to say again
The name of the person I long to whisper my name at night
The one I long to hold
Although now it may never happen
I wish I knew how to tell you right
You always said wait
I did and now I'm broken
I ( Read more... )

I am never going to be comfortable with myself....
Or be able to be comfortable with another person

I don't like that.... I don't like it at all

I have a feeling that since I'm afraid of being hurt all the time I kind of keep my past a secret and don't really tell the person I'm with and when I do finally do so, it pushes them away.

I'm afraid of ( Read more... )

No matter what I do, I can't make everyone happy?
I've been reading blogs and comments on peoples Myspaces and I discovered a lot of things people have written having to do with me...

Am I really that mean of a person and never realized it?
DO I really treat all of you THAT bad..?

Seriously, I thought you people would tell me instead of saying things ( Read more... )

I spent a good chunk of my night last night up talking to Bryce and crying.

It's hard for me not feeling importiant to someone.

I've hit a low right now

Not an all time low

Just a low

I'm always goning to have urges... I won't act on them.

So it's Christmas time.
Right after Christmas is the new year, a fresh start for most.
I am one of the lucky few people to have a birthday so awesomely close to the two spectacular holidays.

I've been sitting up at night thinking.
In January, I am exactly two decades old.
Fan-fucking-tastic.

I moved to Lake Forest almost 9 years ago.
That was prolly one ( Read more... )

I could tell you the truth.....


( Read more... )

I'm sick of freaks

I'm sick of being alone

I'm sick of stalkers

I'm sick of being used

I'm sick of promescuity

I'm sick of drugs

I'm sick of shame

I'm sick of girls

I'm sick of guys

I'm sick of fake smiles

I'm sick of love fertile tears

I'm sick of being away from HIM

I'm sick of sad songs

I'm sick of things that break

I'm sick of heartahe

I'm sick of being ill

I' ( Read more... )

Some of you have been asking me who Sgt. Charles Higgins is and what he is to me. T his past month has been a little hecktic for my family and I haven't had time to really sit and post this. My family and I have been in contact with a reporter in Lisbon, Ohio. We have been in 2 articles and I think that they would help clear the air. Here they are:

( Read more... )