my alternate time lines are driving me mad ( Read more... )

"Precious Pain ( Read more... )

my clothes are in the laundry
washing away the last bit of the other night
salt and sweat, scent of you
memories of your skin on mine
teeth on flesh
wandering lips and mouth
the thought of you makes me spiral
down
down
down
until i am floating in a warm pool of viscous liquid
embraced, satiated, happy

if i stay up all night...
will tomorrow come quicker?

if i lay down...
will i be able to sleep?

thoughts of you run thru my head...

i am scared of the dawn....
scared to look into your eyes and be lost...
scared to step into your arms and not be able to step out again...

most of all... i'm scared of what would happen if i didn't.

bitter
mad
angry
annoyed
frustrated
scared
hurt
fear
fault
blame
loss
hurt
sore
tired
done
sad
crying
rage-full
vulnerable

hoping there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it is not mounted on a train.

it was only a few days ago that i saw her...
it feels like weeks
months... years!
how can time slip away like this?
how am i going to last a week??

breathe.... just breathe

i now know how peter parker must feel
to have two identities... two lives that he leads.
one the superhero.. where he shines... and is happy
the other the photographer... dull... boring... uneventful.

i killed spiderman today.

i am praying for the sequel where he rises from the ashes

EVERYTHING HAS ITS SEASON ( Read more... )

i feel like i am splitting in two.

my wheels keep spinning....
metal on metal....
heat... friction...
waiting for the spark to start the fire
the fire that will engulf me so i don't have to feel this pain anymore...