got me hooked, it just ain't fair

[cyclogenesis]

Today I posted a girlfriends primer in DYW. Go look!

Also, I asked if people wanted fic commentaries a few weeks ago, and gigantic, iridescentglow, and callsigns asked for one on except under the pale light, my Pete/Ryan story from last fall. So here it is!

Comments

[theaerosolkid]

Hey, I really liked this! By which I mean both the original fic and the commentary :) I think that sometimes commentaries can be rather self-indulgent but this was less internal monologue, more lecture. Sort of reminded me of my favourite English class, wherein our teacher stood up, read a short story he'd written, and explained his thought process calmly and clearly without once ever saying OH LOOK HOW COOL I AM.

In short, this was insightful and enjoyable to read. \o/

[cyclogenesis]

Oh, I'm glad you liked it! I love talking about stories this way, I miss my creative writing workshops where you could really dissect every aspect of a story and why it works and why each word is there. Mmm sexy writing processes.

[callsigns]

This is my favorite story of yours (as I have possibly mentioned a few [million] times), so when you offered commentaries, even though I don't read them, I was quick to ask for one on this. I knew you were going to go a bit into the inherent Brendon/Ryan, and I definitely wanted more of your thought process on that. I also think this is an amazingly written Pete, and your comment about reliable narrative tells me precisely why his characterization feels so fumblingly honest and deceptive at the same time. I think the way you write points-of-view (point-of-views?) is one of the main reasons your stories are as consistently strong as they are - here, you keep everything very tightly focused; everything's filtered through Pete, but with subtle and varying degrees depending on your narrator's focus at the time. I feel like this story has a kaleidoscope feel to it; it's all Pete-lens, but with gradients of Ryan-lens and Patrick-lens and public-lens. That shifting but directed narrative flow makes every pointed thing about the sex feel

[cyclogenesis]

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I love talking to you about this story, sigh. I went on more about the Brendon/Ryan in answer to Rae's comment below, but I love thinking about it in the context of this story, because so much of it was influenced by what we were writing around that time.

[callsigns]

I remember telling you I'd love to see something from this universe in Brendon's POV, and you telling me that would destroy the subtlety or something like that. Whatevs, I could still go for it pretty hardcore. It could be like a remix you do to yourself.

[cyclogenesis]

Ahahaha. I did say that! And my opinion stands, although while I was writing the commentary I admit I did feel an urge to write the Brendon/Ryan side of this story.

You could do it! Then it would be like a remix, only with you doing it instead of me. \o/

[deliberatehips]

Getting inside your head is interesting, you think so much about everything you write. :) Plus your use of canon is my favorite, because you used it intelligently. I'm really bad at feedback lately, as you can tell, but you know I adore your writing.

Tell me more about Brendon.

[cyclogenesis]

Brendon! Of course when I was writing this it was with all the sleepover princes stuff I'd written before in mind, which came along with a much darker Brendon/Ryan than I usually work actual stories around (remember Brendon loaning Ryan to Pete for the weekend? good times). Especially considering that time period, where the world was very Brendon/Ryan; I don't think I ever even considered this being a solely Pete/Ryan story. It couldn't be, really, because the Brendon/Ryan (however implied) needs to be there in order for the reader to get an inkling of the lasting effects this has had not just on Ryan as a person, but on the way he conducts himself in relationships outside of what he has with Pete

[girlintheband]

This is such an insight. I love the Brendon/Ryan dynamic you've got going here, I really do. It's barely covered in the story but it's the level of subtlety that makes it so much more effective. The faded bruises on Ryan's skin; there's the implication that Brendon's just trying to do what Ryan wants him to do, but something's not quite working out and neither of them feel completely comfortable about it but are too scared to try and change things in case the other one doesn't want that too.

Ohh boys. ♥

[cyclogenesis]

Man, this is making me really want to write the Brendon/Ryan side of this story. Maybe I should, hmm.

[blushandrecover]

I'm not sure if I ever commented on the original fic. If I didn't, then I suck, because it's one of my favorite stories ever.
Anyway, this commentary is really interesting, and I love the idea of commentaries period. I always want to explain how I got certain ideas or why things are worded just that way, but I've never seen a commentary until now. Kudos are in order, I believe. Thanks for this.

[cyclogenesis]

I'm glad you liked the commentary! I love talking about this stuff. There are more commentaries linked on DYW (but maybe that's how you got here), they've been done in lots of other fandoms before. I love them too.

[cyclogenesis]

Yeah, I'm always up for an excuse to talk about Brendon/Ryan. I think I said just about everything I needed to regarding them within the framework of the story itself, but it's also nice to invite people into see more of the backstory. Thanks for reading and commenting!