This guy wasn't the one for you. Why? Because he made fun of you, even when it should have been clear to him you didn't appreciate it. A guy who appreciates you won't belittle you. Yes it hurts, and sucks because of the old wounds, but this guy really was an asshole.
*hugs* Thank you. Part of me thinks that if I had talked to him sooner (I had made plans that day to "make it all better" through talks, making him dinner, whatever.... I had the whole day planned out u.u), then everything would have worked out better.
I think we never connected as a couple because it was so rushed and assumed that we would be good for each other because we had similar interests. I am coming to the realization that I never knew him and he never knew me. We just lived off the belief that "we must got something if we have so many similar interests."
I think we would make great friends, just... not now, especially not so soon after him pulling the rug out from under me.
This is one of your problems Michelle. You try too hard. You tried too hard with D to be the perfect, doting girlfriend. You wanted him to see that you took care of him, cooked, cleaned, sexed, etc. Just quit it. You shouldn't have to try so hard to be in a relationship and have a guy like you. I realize you enjoy doing these things, but step back and admit that you really push to show just how awesome you are.
You are awesome, period. You don't need to work so hard to let the world know that. Quit stressing over this shit and maybe you'll find your happiness again.
Oh man, I laughed at this comment because you are right. I did try too hard. Too damn hard. And it just made me so unhappy. I am sure the reason I try so hard and think that any bobble is a damnable sin is because I never felt good enough for my grandmother (and having no other adult mentor as a child, that was my only source of affirmation).
You are saying things that I have been trying to see. I've been unhappy for a long time, and I've always thought "why why why? What is different now than it was before?"
I remember a time I tried just hard enough to be myself and happy with it. I was the awesome, eccentric girl that had people come up to me at All Region choir rehearsals to tell me that they were in love with Meshell (it was a fan of Meshell). And the only difference? I didn't give a fuck. I really did not give a fuck.
It's time for that to come back. Don't make me to pull out my tube socks and Sauconies to prove just how against the grain I will go to be happy.
It should be noted that when I did try the weirdo
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Please do remain single for a year. Dating is silliness. As for never talking, maybe it's just me, but you seem a shy person. I guess he may also have been shy or ignorant or as unappreciative as you've said.
I actually don't know who or what relationship you're talking about. Tom? It feels like that one ended years ago. Nothing comes to mind when you say just four months ago. Whatever it was, take the time to heal yourself! And not just heal or bury; reconstruct yourself to be more beautiful, wiser than ever. Especially in knowing that you don't need someone who is not willing to respect these things about you and appreciate you fully.
I know you probably think I'm speaking in marshmallows, because the other day when I tried complimenting you you just, I don't know, weren't feeling it, or whatever. So, don't listen to me! If I fail to inspire hope (if fearful hope) within you then clearly my suggestions and faith in you are worth as much as, I don't know, a dingy clump of cotton candy. I do think you are marvelous, regardless.
Oi, this was the guy I was dating for the past 4 months. I kept it pretty hush hush, but I did mention it in some previous posts.
Yeah, I was not too happy that day. I don't think I have been really happy these past two weeks. Knowing and not knowing versus the general feeling of loss.
I will reconstruct myself. I've put it off so much, and I am ready to become even stronger than I was years ago when I was the most bad ass person evarrrrr.
I had a boyfriend like that once. He was extremely immature and could not (or, would not) open up to me in the slightest. The only affection I could get out of him was sexual or pal-aroundy type stuff. It was weird. He was weird. And when I told him I couldn't take it anymore I got... no reaction. I think that's what I could stand the least-- the no reaction thing.
It took me a looooong time to realize that it was him, not me. It's him, not you. Believe that. And enjoy your singledom this year, k? :)
Oi, at least I got cuddles. D was good about showing it, but say it? Oh hells no. And he did an even better job of reminding me of how little he thought of me (constant critiques on everything from my music, to my clothes, my decisions to color my hair, my driving).
Ugh, I hate when there is no reaction. I would hold convos with D, and it was always one-sided. Either he would just stare at me and not respond after I said anything or I would just blankly stare at him when he talked (I developed this after I grew tired of showing interest in his things and him showing none in anything about me).
I do feel that that way of acting is meant for other people... not me. He's just a different type of person, and he needs to be around those people. Though I do realize my mistakes, I doubt he will ever see his. I am sure he's thinking "why isn't she talking to me any more, hurr durr durr" and not caring two shits.
At least that is how he made me think he would react. Funny how that works.
You keep showing up for HH is what. Fuck him and his indifference. He was never good for you and I hope you can accept that and not spend too much time dwelling over your "lost relationship". Four months is one more bit that reminds me of Logan. B;ah.
Keep showing up at HH, keep going out with the B team if they do things, etc. Feel free to forget the Yuchas though. XD
I think you're just in shock. You need to get motivated and work on yourself, then you'll see what piece of crap D is.
I know I made mistakes in this, and I am ready to admit to them. I could go on and on about times I let my insecurities and fears keep me from being the kick-ass person that I am
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I don't really know EY but his wifey is a major bitch and I could do without her forever.
Go to HH. You are like freaking Norm (Cheers reference) when you walk in there. BradB, JeffB, and the other guys love having you around because of you, not because you were D's GF. I know you'd be missed if you quit showing.
And really, don't worry about RR. She has a rep as the local whore because she seemingly made the rounds of a small group of guys. If she is so shallow as to forget you because you are no longer with D, she can suck it. And she probably has. :X
I understand. I'm trying to go regularly because I miss some of the guys, but I'm just now getting over the surgery + holidays + sickness. I'll keep you posted when I go.
Yeah, DY was enjoyable to be around, but I was very cautious with her. She was not to be trusted with any secret in my book.
Haha, I will have to watch some Cheers so I can see Norm in action again. I really shouldn't let my insecurities keep me from enjoying the people I like to be around. Though I gotta say it's time to lay the smack down on Tank for being a general douche.
I don't think D would sleep with RR, and she seemed pretty pissed about the way he spoke/treated me. But then she suddenly decided she didn't want to talk to me *shrugs* I'm just gonna confront her about it and go from there. People who profess to be uber Christian always disappoint me when they pull this shit (she said she was very open, honest, and caring and then she plays this game).
Hahaha, when you typed surgery, I thought it said "sugary." I was like WTF sugary? The sugary things attacked her during Xmas? Please do keep me posted, but now I feel more confident about going to HH.
Yay for being busy! In the upcoming weeks, it's going to become more busy for me (I'm now going into my official role, transition starts tomorrow! :D
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I think we never connected as a couple because it was so rushed and assumed that we would be good for each other because we had similar interests. I am coming to the realization that I never knew him and he never knew me. We just lived off the belief that "we must got something if we have so many similar interests."
I think we would make great friends, just... not now, especially not so soon after him pulling the rug out from under me.
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You are awesome, period. You don't need to work so hard to let the world know that. Quit stressing over this shit and maybe you'll find your happiness again.
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You are saying things that I have been trying to see. I've been unhappy for a long time, and I've always thought "why why why? What is different now than it was before?"
I remember a time I tried just hard enough to be myself and happy with it. I was the awesome, eccentric girl that had people come up to me at All Region choir rehearsals to tell me that they were in love with Meshell (it was a fan of Meshell). And the only difference? I didn't give a fuck. I really did not give a fuck.
It's time for that to come back. Don't make me to pull out my tube socks and Sauconies to prove just how against the grain I will go to be happy.
It should be noted that when I did try the weirdo ( ... )
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I actually don't know who or what relationship you're talking about. Tom? It feels like that one ended years ago. Nothing comes to mind when you say just four months ago. Whatever it was, take the time to heal yourself! And not just heal or bury; reconstruct yourself to be more beautiful, wiser than ever. Especially in knowing that you don't need someone who is not willing to respect these things about you and appreciate you fully.
I know you probably think I'm speaking in marshmallows, because the other day when I tried complimenting you you just, I don't know, weren't feeling it, or whatever. So, don't listen to me! If I fail to inspire hope (if fearful hope) within you then clearly my suggestions and faith in you are worth as much as, I don't know, a dingy clump of cotton candy. I do think you are marvelous, regardless.
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Yeah, I was not too happy that day. I don't think I have been really happy these past two weeks. Knowing and not knowing versus the general feeling of loss.
I will reconstruct myself. I've put it off so much, and I am ready to become even stronger than I was years ago when I was the most bad ass person evarrrrr.
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It took me a looooong time to realize that it was him, not me. It's him, not you. Believe that. And enjoy your singledom this year, k? :)
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Ugh, I hate when there is no reaction. I would hold convos with D, and it was always one-sided. Either he would just stare at me and not respond after I said anything or I would just blankly stare at him when he talked (I developed this after I grew tired of showing interest in his things and him showing none in anything about me).
I do feel that that way of acting is meant for other people... not me. He's just a different type of person, and he needs to be around those people. Though I do realize my mistakes, I doubt he will ever see his. I am sure he's thinking "why isn't she talking to me any more, hurr durr durr" and not caring two shits.
At least that is how he made me think he would react. Funny how that works.
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Keep showing up at HH, keep going out with the B team if they do things, etc. Feel free to forget the Yuchas though. XD
I think you're just in shock. You need to get motivated and work on yourself, then you'll see what piece of crap D is.
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Go to HH. You are like freaking Norm (Cheers reference) when you walk in there. BradB, JeffB, and the other guys love having you around because of you, not because you were D's GF. I know you'd be missed if you quit showing.
And really, don't worry about RR. She has a rep as the local whore because she seemingly made the rounds of a small group of guys. If she is so shallow as to forget you because you are no longer with D, she can suck it. And she probably has. :X
I understand. I'm trying to go regularly because I miss some of the guys, but I'm just now getting over the surgery + holidays + sickness. I'll keep you posted when I go.
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Haha, I will have to watch some Cheers so I can see Norm in action again. I really shouldn't let my insecurities keep me from enjoying the people I like to be around. Though I gotta say it's time to lay the smack down on Tank for being a general douche.
I don't think D would sleep with RR, and she seemed pretty pissed about the way he spoke/treated me. But then she suddenly decided she didn't want to talk to me *shrugs* I'm just gonna confront her about it and go from there. People who profess to be uber Christian always disappoint me when they pull this shit (she said she was very open, honest, and caring and then she plays this game).
Hahaha, when you typed surgery, I thought it said "sugary." I was like WTF sugary? The sugary things attacked her during Xmas? Please do keep me posted, but now I feel more confident about going to HH.
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Please do comment on it. I would really like to hear your perspective.
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