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Torchwood/Doctor Who Comment!Porn Battle V

Aug 22, 2009 10:43

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Theory/Practice, Jack/OFC, Jack/Ianto, Fail!sex with contact lenses hanuueshe August 24 2009, 02:07:52 UTC

It had started out so well. Jack had put the contacts on in the club’s bathroom, the jeans and button-down shirt he’d put on to look normal seeming exotic to Ianto’s eyes. He’d winked into the mirror, mouthing “Here we go.”: words Ianto only understood because of the lip reading software.

The girl Jack followed out of the club into the alleyway was very pretty in a curvy sort of way, wearing a clingy sort of skirt that left nothing to the imagination- for example, her choice of underwear was 'lack thereof'. She wore a very dark green shirt, something which struck Ianto as oddly relevant as he made himself comfortable in Jack’s chair.

Unfortunately, it was all downhill from there.

He’d had to turn the lip-reading software off after a short while, because a) listening to it trying to interpret the moans she made was making his eye twitch, and b) Jack would pick the girl whose dirty talk sounded like it came from the worst sort of romance novel ( ... )

Re: Theory/Practice, Jack/OFC, Jack/Ianto, Fail!sex with contact lenses amand_r August 24 2009, 02:55:37 UTC

1. omg yes. This is totes what I was thinking. BEST FAILSEX EVER.

2. her choice of underwear was 'lack thereof'. YOU ARE EVER SO WITTY.

Srsly, for me? This WON HANDS DOWN. WIN WIN WIN.

Re: Theory/Practice, Jack/OFC, Jack/Ianto, Fail!sex with contact lenses hanuueshe September 1 2009, 00:33:30 UTC

YAY YAY YAY \0/

Re: Theory/Practice, Jack/OFC, Jack/Ianto, Fail!sex with contact lenses 51stcenturyfox August 24 2009, 03:49:09 UTC

Oh, I love the "lack thereof" line so much.

I LOVE contacts stories! You win for this... and I love that Ianto gets a view of EAR. :D

Re: Theory/Practice, Jack/OFC, Jack/Ianto, Fail!sex with contact lenses hanuueshe September 1 2009, 00:37:54 UTC

And EYEBROW. :D Thanks for reading.

Re: Theory/Practice, Jack/OFC, Jack/Ianto, Fail!sex with contact lenses lionessvalenti August 24 2009, 03:51:37 UTC

LOL!!

I love it. Of course there are situations where that wouldn't work. Especially if you're Jack and get all caught up in the moment and don't think about it.

Re: Theory/Practice, Jack/OFC, Jack/Ianto, Fail!sex with contact lenses hanuueshe September 1 2009, 00:38:36 UTC

Jack not thinking about it has lead to many a fail, methinks. Thanks for reading.

Re: Theory/Practice, Jack/OFC, Jack/Ianto, Fail!sex with contact lenses kel_reiley August 24 2009, 03:55:24 UTC

bwahahaha
that would be what happens!

Re: Theory/Practice, Jack/OFC, Jack/Ianto, Fail!sex with contact lenses hanuueshe September 1 2009, 00:38:54 UTC

IKR? :D

Re: Theory/Practice, Jack/OFC, Jack/Ianto, Fail!sex with contact lenses topgeargirl2 August 24 2009, 03:56:27 UTC

This was very funny and sexy.

Re: Theory/Practice, Jack/OFC, Jack/Ianto, Fail!sex with contact lenses hanuueshe September 1 2009, 00:41:42 UTC

Thank you!

Re: Theory/Practice, Jack/OFC, Jack/Ianto, Fail!sex with contact lenses neifile7 August 24 2009, 04:02:49 UTC

Great premise! I definitely want to see more contact lens stories and, well...not hard to imagine it taking a few tries to get it right. The problem with Jack not minding an audience is that he doesn't mind the audience. :)

Re: Theory/Practice, Jack/OFC, Jack/Ianto, Fail!sex with contact lenses hanuueshe September 1 2009, 00:42:12 UTC

Exactly! Thanks for reading.

Re: Theory/Practice, Jack/OFC, Jack/Ianto, Fail!sex with contact lenses lefaym August 24 2009, 04:03:44 UTC

This is great, completely wonderful! :)

Re: Theory/Practice, Jack/OFC, Jack/Ianto, Fail!sex with contact lenses hanuueshe September 1 2009, 00:42:51 UTC

Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Re: Theory/Practice, Jack/OFC, Jack/Ianto, Fail!sex with contact lenses valancy_joy August 24 2009, 14:46:22 UTC

HAHAHAHA!!

Dee-lightful!

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