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My tweets
- Mon, 23:50: South Carolina Ralph Norman texted Mark Meadows that Marshall Law was needed. This is Marshall Law: https://t.co/q59qHsutqD
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My tweets
- Wed, 20:14: RT @ Frank_qwerty: @ UllNeverBeAGOD @ weatherchannel @ mikeseidel "A historic hurricane, with force winds up to 9999 mph". Everyone: OK, please…
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My tweets
- Sat, 17:52: This is the best explanation of business vs capitalism I’ve yet seen. https://t.co/0LTudeqwCQ
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My tweets
- Mon, 18:54: RT @ AndyAndyField: Tearfully waving out the train window as my girlfriend runs alongside *45 minutes later* She's still keeping pace. It…
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My tweets
- Sat, 13:38: Me, telling The Lady that our daughter’s box of Count Chocula has been finished: “The Count Chocula is dead. I’m sorry, I meant… UNDEAD UNDEAD UNDEAD”
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My tweets
- Sat, 01:03: My daughter is in the bathtub, telling us that her pickle store is open for business. So, of course I ask her where the pickle is, then immediately follow it up with, “That’s the surprise!” She’ll get the joke in 10-12 years. https://t.co/lfxN6BpIUe
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My tweets
- Mon, 02:19: It’s nice to see WWE giving a legacy wrestler a chance by inserting the Repo Man into the U.S. Title match. #tightsandfights
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My tweets
- Sun, 15:30: The Lady: “McDonald’s secret name has always been Liver McFatty’s.”
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My tweets
- Wed, 15:25: Tumblr is still the weirdest place on the Internet: https://t.co/tf7j910DRY
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My tweets
- Sun, 21:21: Hooo, ticks are bad this year