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Untitled
Where to begin?? I went through many of my old entries dating back to the days of University of Iowa and even some before then ( Read more... ) -
Fears are back, as irrational as they may be
Why do I wait until I am at my wits end to post? Why do I let myself build up all this tension? It is so silly, and when I realize it has happened all over again I am simply embarrassed ( Read more... ) -
Early Morning sub thoughts, and my future
Listening to spotify. I swear music is my savior. I was getting discouraged because there were no sub jobs until just a minute ago. I dunno, I am just trying to keep from getting discouraged over everything. Right now it feels like time is creeping on, and on, and on. I am trying to savor this as I know I have many positive things in my life such ( Read more... ) -
Random
So not a lot is new. A couple of days ago I had one of those glorious moments where everything goes right - It was raining but in the beautiful way. I was cooking, and the perfect music was in the background. Then I stabbed myself lol. On accident, but I had to finish cooking with a paper towel wedged between two fingers. Molly made fun of me ( Read more... ) -
Some new life thoughts
Putzing around on Facebook and trolling my e-mail. Didn't feel like getting on here, but as soon as I see the old school blue design and options I am glad and even a bit relieved to be on here ( Read more... ) -
Hawks, frisbee golf, and sleep
Feeling good, woke up after sleeping in bed all night long. I usually wake up in bed, can't go to sleep, and then have to come down to the couch to fall back asleep. The other weird thing is lately I have been having muscle twitches all the time, not just before bed like before. This made me nervous as I was SURE I was going to not be able to fall ( Read more... ) -
I am still who I was at 21
"What brought me to this is I have very and utterly been living life in a more vivid sense then I think ever before. lke when I think back on my past I can remeber several memories almost similtaniously, and more then memories I can feel what I felt back then. Its so odd and enlightening. I remember being able to look at myself in the mirror and ( Read more... ) -
Get a grip
I just looked at my old archives. It has been a month of good sleep. A month, no CPAP needed, no Ambien, no anything. Get a grip. Get a fucking clue. You are sleeping just fine. Get over yourself and your petty problems. Move on and let life bring you new and bigger fish to fry. This problem is over, and you need to let it go. Get a grip and move -
Update post vacation
I almost wrote hello all. This is how I start all my e-mails. Funny. In any case I feel the need to let go and put down all the things that have happened since I last wrote. In a nutshell, a super big advancement is that I am sleeping and sleeping quite well. I'll explain some more later on the progression, but for now I have to admit that I am ( Read more... ) -
Early morning and waiting for a sub job
Stress. How else can I put it? I am frustrated with my insomnia issues flaring up again - 5 hrs sleep and that's it. I'm going to try to up my CPAP pressure setting and see if that helps any. I also am stressed, and surprised that there seem to be no sub jobs available today. WTF? I go from having 5 phone calls a day to nothing. I am even up and ( Read more... )