Two little kids were sword fighting with yard sticks so I jokingly said "you know its all fun and games until some one loses an eye" and one of the little kids looks right at me serious as a heart attack and says "well, some one has to loose ( Read more... )

My first Home Depot Christmas party...

The Ying Yang Twins song "Salk Shaker" comes on and when it gets to the line, "Skeet so much, they call her Billy ocean"
Its amazing how much old white people will dance to any thing even if they dont know what its about

On the phone with Bell South ( Read more... )

Greatest hockey story of all time ( Read more... )

This punk ass 16 year old keeps calling Jessica's cell phone thinking he is his drug buddie. Last time I talked to them ( Read more... )

My goal in life is to work so hard that an amish man walks by and goes "damn nigga"

Any one need repair work done around thier house? I work cheap.

I went to Rocky Mount with my mother because I needed some stuff from Lowe's. Josh was at Putter's so I told my mother what I needed from Lowe's and stayed at Putter's.

...Then I realized that the day before I move into my own apartment my mother in a mini-van had just dropped me off at the arcade with some quarters.

9....19....its all the same

I have a legacy ( Read more... )

I was doing some hard core manual labor the other day. After I was done, I hoped in the shower, I was so tired and so relaxed by the hot wate that I started to piss...with out meaning too ( Read more... )