Inside of me i'm aware of the mad rush, some sort of pulse that is trying to urge me on, and i'm doing my best to accept it. i keep telling myself, just 1000 more words, and then perhaps only 4000 more. i've left it all to the last second thinking i needed the stress of the very very close deadline to make these words spill out of me, but it has ( Read more... )

i had this moment yesterday when the final sentence of the assignment i was writing came to me, like my brain had turned a sharp corner and was faced with a cement wall. strangely enough it was positive, the first time an essay of mine written in german had a somewhat interesting and i think well explained original point. we all know it is easy to ( Read more... )

the heat rises and falls, leaving evidence behind in my headaches. and i think it's only at night when i feel weird, when i have been left alone to stand wobbling on the tram all the way home, fighting my own thoughts ( Read more... )

when descending the steps into an u-bahn station the smell is amazing and sometimes quickly turns into that of freshly baked croissants, the mixture of gasoline and butter, anticipation ( Read more... )

the berlin zoo is one of the oldest in germany and one of the most beautiful i have been to, the ancient trees and landscaped gardens where the animals try to live make it a not-so-sad zoo experience ( Read more... )

outside the window i hear the rattling of bicycles on the cobblestones as the still cigarette air adds to my sleepiness. it's strange being back here, i sit at the same cafes staring at the same trees while the same people avoid my eyes when i speak german. but it was this exact sameness that i missed, that i wanted to come back to, that followed ( Read more... )

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for my last friday night in hamburg we had a "grillparty" in the garden. this involved lots of rothaus pilsner, a few lecker mojitos that had our organic mint that grows on our balcony in them, and germany's best tofu wurst. it was a wonderful evening and we spent it lounging around and eating and laughing while the rest of germany sat in front of ( Read more... )

there is an abandoned amusement park on the outskirts of treptower park in east berlin. it has sat empty of loud crowds and clowns and popcorn smells for over three years. to get into it, all you have to do is hop the fence and try to stay away from the caretaker who lives alone in the "wild western town" part of the park. and when he finds you, it ( Read more... )