why is it that even though i'm not in love with her anymore and haven't been for a very long time, i still get jealous when she starts to fall in love with someone else. maybe it's cause i'll always feel a little cheated cause i never got the chance that she automatically gives everyone else. i don't know but this sucks. i can honestly say with 100 ( Read more... )

obviously i don't update this thing much but now seems as good a time as any. i had the absolute greatest weekend ever. it started on saturday when i watched USF stomp the shit out of FSU in their own stadium :) it was pretty epic. i was screaming and jumping around and basically just having a heart attack the entire time just waitind for us to do ( Read more... )

so i've only been back in MI for a few days now but i've determined that drivers here are actually WORSE than the ones in tampa. here's why. drivers in tampa are assholes and they know it. when they cut you off, you can usually see it coming from a mile away cause you can spot an asshole driver almost instantly. and at least there are 3 or 4 lanes ( Read more... )

i wanted her to fight for me. i wanted her to at least say "no. this is bullshit. you are my best friend and I'm not going to let you walk out of my life like this." instead i got "yeah :("

i guess i expect too much from people.

i was ready for her to leave. i know that sounds bad but it's really not meant to be. i was ready to finally be ok without her and i was ready for her to be ok without me. this was something she needed more than anything else in the world and i hate more than anything that it's not going to happen and i HATE that the reason is so dumb and selfish. ( Read more... )

well yesterday was my birthday and the past couple years i've written about it in here so i figured this year shouldn't be any different. it was awesome. plain and simple. i was at work, talking on the phone to my dad around 10 when all of a sudden aly and jenelle walk up with 8 huge balloons, one of which had koalas on it and played a jaunty tune ( Read more... )

the only time i ever felt ok in this town was when i was with her and now that's gone. i can't talk anymore to the only person i could tell everything to because when it comes down to it, she would chose her over me. if i can't find a job in tampa, then in 6 months i'm gone and it's like she'd rather spend these last months with ashlie instead of ( Read more... )

i could listen to "What Sarah Said" by Death Cab a hundred times and never get tired of it. it's so real and so good. i wish i could write like that.

...yeah. that pretty much sums it up. i'm tired of feeling used, left out, forgotten. i'm tired of bitching about it instead of doing something about it, so i did. i spoke up about how i felt and yet i still feel like i'm the bad guy. i'm the douche bag who was going to leave so you left first. you can't depend on other people but then run away ( Read more... )

i'm in italy. it's pretty cool. i do miss home and i miss my friends like crazy but i'm getting used to things here and i like it. it's been rainy and cold the past two days so that's no good. it was hailing yesterday. wtf. i've been wearing a jacket for 3 days. oh well, at least i got to go to the coast and that was amazing and beautiful and hot. ( Read more... )