Nothing happened the night of the last post. I had been having these awful feelings lurking about my mind reguarding that night all week. There was a HUGE party with like everyone and their mother from the walnut creek bar scene there at Lee's. I had to leave early and was quite trepidatious about doing so given the past and the present : my ( Read more... )

on the precipice I spoke of in my mind's eye three days ago. A thought I had-a haunting vision recently. Our bed not occupied by you and I alone. another enters, upon your accord, you take her, court her, the same words whispered huskily to her as you once did to me when you were desperately trying to bed me. Now I have fallen, I'm all yours. Your ( Read more... )

What is so insatiable about suffering through the toils of self degredation in any given relationship? I have entirely too much going on and too many things that require my much needed attention that is being sucked from me by the continuous back and forth neglect, silence; a circle of suspiscion. I am really not having it. I cannot even begin to ( Read more... )

"What I need to do is go to church and pray for that girl who got between us. Pray that I don't see her, pray that I don't meet her, pray that I don't try to beat her. I need SUnday ( Read more... )

Life is so fast, so much and all at once that I wonder sometimes if I am even breathing or if I have merely learned to exist without breath, heart and soul. I want it all to end. I want to be loved, to feel freed, even if it is only for a moment. I want to relish in the secrets of life, even if they break my heart. I want everything to be alright. ( Read more... )

You Are From the Sun


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scinisism: best friend or worst enemy? I always struggle with my insecurities, LOT, suspicion and doubt over whether or not they are all grounded in any fiber of reality. I am going insane. It is not a fair prospect. I hate this. So, I've decided I am jsut going to eat pizza and halloween candy and try to give gilbert grape's mom a run for her ( Read more... )

shit. I am hungover like a mofo. I have a debate I still have to prepare for like now and do in a couple hours. Why did halloween have to be on a sunday and why do I have class the next day. HOLY SHIT, I was nautina last night...I was janet from rocky horror and I was like so gone I was freak dancing with everyone all nite long. I gav Jamie a lap ( Read more... )

"Do you believe in the signs of the zodiac ( Read more... )

So I missed my lit class this morning. Overslept and had to drive ome in the downpur. It took me 30 minutes to go like 5 miles...not even. From the pleasanthill/walnut creek boarder to home....a normal 10 minute commute. balls. so I decided to laze and take car of the internet things...email, leasons and live journal. I am so busy right now. i am ( Read more... )