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No Sleep For This Boy
I managed to get 2 hours of sleep last night, and even that was trash. I spent the better part of the night texting a friend in a very bad place. Only 3 days into the year and already it is filled with more sorrow and drama then I was hopping to see for much of the year. I pray that things turn out for the best but I don't know if that will be the ( Read more... ) -
A little bit of Panic
I had a panic attack last night. The first on in some months. It is strange I have been able to deal with stuff without them triggering but last night something was different and I don't know what it was. Maybe I am just stressed out or overly worried about Emma and her first day of school. I just hope this is a temporary thing I have been having a ( Read more... ) -
Back To Back
What is this two posts in a month and on following days, unheard of for me as of late. Today was a good day as it were, work went well and I was able to get all my books ready for the month. But any day I get to spend locked in my little room tends to be a good day. Soon I am going to start looking into getting a wireless set up for the house so ( Read more... ) -
New Year, New Way of Being
Happy New Year everyone. I know 2010 for many of us ended up being a some what rocky time with many ups and downs. I want 2011 to be a year with nothing but ups and greatness for all of us. I am also going to make more of an effort to post on here much more then I did last year.
Things I would like to have happen this year:
1. Work my way up to being ( Read more... ) -
To Quiet
None of my friends are on and I am just sitting here alone bored. They are online they just aren't getting on the chats. That makes me sad :(. What can I do though some days people don't want to be bugged by me and thats cool. Well tomorrow starts my second run as AP and I don't start till 12 so that means I can sleep in and there for stay up late ( Read more... ) -
My Heart Does This To Me Every Time
I have started to fall into the trap my heart lays for me every time. I wish my heart wouldn't start to fall for people whom I really shouldn't have those sorts of feelings for. But I understand why this is happening she is freaking perfect in almost every way. I know its stupid to feel like this but its nice to have feelings like this again I just ( Read more... ) -
Screaming at myself
I have been staying away from here for too long. I don't know what it is but for some reason the journal has had some bad memories. Perhaps it was the months of rushing home to see what was posted by other people that went from happy to not so, but I have that in the past. I have new things in my life to be happy for and should feel no need to stay ( Read more... ) -
Its a long way down from the top of the tower of regret.
Every day I do the same thing, I wake up from a night that I hardly got any sleep because I was to busy replaying lost perfection. I drag myself to work at a job that has kicked me around for over a decade. all the while I walk up and down the rows of fun toys reminding myself not to just by that next little gift. After work I rush home so I can ( Read more... ) -
Lost in the unknown.
How do you tell someone that they are the best part of you. More importantly how do you keep going on when they are gone. I know its not right of me to always want her in my life like it has been but right now facing the fact she will be basicly no longer in it is killing me. Every time I see her name at work I have to force back the tears and put ( Read more... ) -
Blarg
I want to scream. I get forced into something I don't want to be a part of and then end up on the shit end of things because I don't act the way I "should" and if it was just that I would have calmed down and seen that I was over reacting. I hate feeling like a jerk and not knowing what exactly I am doing wrong as a best friend. I just feel so ( Read more... )