WARNING: This entry is 100% mong:
Chatting to Anna this afternoon online, she reminded me of an excellent word that has been completely underused ( Read more... )

A Pox on both your blouses:I have to stop telling complete strangers on public transport my wacky invention ideas, because one of two things could happen ( Read more... )

The Life Of Iron:
1. The iron begins to leak water. You pour the water into the water compartment for it to make steam and somehow that water gets into the iron's wiring and shorts out the whole house. This happens repeatedly because everyone in my family insists on continuing to use the steam function even at the risk of death by electric shock ( Read more... )

Dickey, Dickey, Dickey Don't:
As a child, and possibly even now, I was confused by human anatomy thanks to the Milton Bradley game "Operation" (which informed me I had, amongst others, an adam's apple, spare ribs, a wish bone and water on the knee which came in a bucket) and the song which I was forced to sing in primary school which went ( Read more... )

Go planet!:I'm working on my Art History essay today, and I'm experiencing major stress in attempting to answer the question. This is my sister's advice that she whispered to me before lunch: "Look, just go to www.planetpapers.com. They'll have one there you can copy out ( Read more... )

Oh, nuts!:

Kathryn's Year 12 formal date, Neil Walker, we've known him for a few months now and nobody knows what he does for a living so I thought, it's her 18th birthday party this weekend, he'll be there, I'm going to get it out of him ( Read more... )

News bulletin, this just in:

MY FIRST EVER APRA CHECK CAME IN THE MAIL!

After much deliberation, the band came to the conclusion that I write 13.5% of every song. This year's royalties from songs I supposedly assisted in writing totalled: $5.97!A whole financial year's worth of work on that ridiculous bass line for C (In An E Hole) and what do I ( Read more... )

Extracts from my diary written at age 7:

Spelling errors remain. I found this while cleaning out my study.

10.3.1989

"Good Eating Practices
1. Wash our hands before eating.
2. Eat at regular hours.
3. Drink at least four glasses of water each day.
4. Do not lie down when eating"

11.3.1989"I would like to be a model beacuse I like to look pretty ( Read more... )

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The Capsicum Caper Continues:

Al says: Hello!
Tartan Heart says: it is not jeremy it is his sister!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Al says: How old are you Jeremy's Sister?
Tartan Heart says: i am 17!
Al says: hahahahaha!
Tartan Heart says: hahaha? ?
Al says: Yes. Do you think capsicum is like a refresher towel?
Tartan Heart says: i think capsicum ( Read more... )