Sometimes when I look that the people you really care about- the few that you actually give your whole heart to- I see in them the person I could have been, the person I would have liked to be. And I think that if I had turned out like that- confident and charismatic and (I hate to say it) conventionally pretty and driven- that perhaps things ( Read more... )

When I was three years old, I decided I wanted to be a vacuum cleaner when I grew up. Now that I'm twenty I wish I'd stuck with that ambition. and so on cold, rainy twenty-year-old days I sit in a library armchair surrounded by books and articles that I somehow think will help me get through the nineteen hour work days after law school and I think ( Read more... )

I know I never write in here, but for some reason I wanted to write something that won't be held to the lined pages of a notebook that no one else will ever read ( Read more... )

it's a funny thing, being back here. Nice, though, to not have classes for a few weeks, save the gigantic Oxford reading list ( Read more... )

I find it funny that two years of college makes me think I have the right to talk as if this is all just a normal part of life- that in some little way I deserve all this.  If I sound like that, it's not true.

But I have learned a lot in two years- learned things outside of Albert Camus' theory of rebellion or the use of regression in environmental ( Read more... )

"A broad river divides my lovers- family, duty, fate. As unchangeable as nature"

-Shakespeare in Love

I've always supposed there are people in this world to whom sentences and adjectives could not do justice. I think I finally know one of them ( Read more... )

Memory: I stood at my open third-floor window (the one that sometimes refuses to close) still in my skirt and heels and I felt as I imagine Jay Gatsby must have writing that list of things to do every day ("elocution, poise, and how to attain it"), like Jake saying "To hell with you, Lady Ashley" at the beginning of The Sun Also Rises, and I ( Read more... )

"People are funny, you know...they walk into your life and change it- with words or smiles or chances- and then they just go on living as if that kind of selflessness is just an ordinary part of life. And you stand there, wishing you could tell them that you couldn't have survived without them, but they've already walked away, moved on with a life ( Read more... )

He stretched out his hand and she took it, spinning slowly, her feet already tired. She felt homely compared to the girls he usually danced with. But with her ordinary eyes ordinarily avoiding his, she felt, for the first time in a long time, that there was no one she needed to live up to. She had been used to out-dancing people, proving herself ( Read more... )