In a lit class during which our Chilean expatriate professor spoke of Carpentier and Shangri-la and I realized that I would hate to live forever, to be young forever, to someday return to days when I was scared to say the Our Father because I thought people wouldn't want to hold my somehow-inadequate hands, I thought that perhaps Shangri-La, though ( Read more... )

"I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I'm not sure I deserved my friends." -Whitman

He couldn't have said it better.

When you've done all you can to push someone away, to make them see the ugliness in you, to show them the part of you that is too competitive and sometimes loud and stumbles over words at the most inopportune moments- when you ( Read more... )

You made me so inexplicably happy.

I never expected it to hit me, but I took the back way to the BC today- back behind kilgo and crowell and through the fire lanes ( Read more... )

I walked back home this afternoon staring at my shadow. I'd like to think people wondered why i was looking at the ground- if I was scared or hurt or just shy. i would love to be thought of as shy. But I stared at it as I followed it wishing I could change it, erase the edges and contours and criticisms with one of those rubber erasers everyone ( Read more... )

My last entry was typical. Maybe that bothers me. Or maybe I just can't stand that I sounded like a lovesick little junior high girl. It's not like that. I promise ( Read more... )

It's been interesting. A week full of my birthday and CSC director meetings and going out and conversations about CSC guys and Fitzgerald and family and how much i'm going to miss this place in two and a half years ( Read more... )

She swung out of bed and immediately wished she'd taken the extra time to cram her slippers into her suitcase. She missed them, the art of "missing" something her mind and fingers and lips and breath and now her cold feet had become accustomed to. So she got ready as much as could be expected for the second semester of her "second life"- the one ( Read more... )

I won.

HA!

When I was three months old, I flew on my first airplane. As I got older, in my little attention-hungry mind that apparently made me something of a jet-setter which apparently made me somewhat cool and sophisticated which apparently made me worth getting to know. Everyone else's minds must have worked differently. Normally ( Read more... )