shaking, can't breathe
cat run over
the noise

waiting
rspca, someones coming
i can't sit still i feel ill

fucking person didn't stop

Edit: the rspca still aren't here, and the cat died, mum yelling because i shouldn't have gotten involved?!?! i am not in a good place right this second, finding it hard not to act on things. This is fucking shit i ( Read more... )

The secrets i wish i could get out..
And i'm rubbish with post secrets..
but i want to write it anyways.

SA Recovery


( Read more... )

Watching Grave of the Fireflies on Film4,
Why do i do this to myself?
I dont want to cry tonight
Ive done enough crying today

Day of getting emotions out for once i suppose..
I wish it didn't hurt so much,
when does things start feeling okay again?
I wish i still felt numb.

He's in intensive care,
He should have been back home,
I'm scared, i can't think.

 My Gosh,

My shoulder is in agony today, and elbow. Joint pains, oh how i love yee. No painkillers either, my parents took them all - and i am "banned" from buying them since the overdose in Feb. What i'd do for a couple of high strength cocodamol right now. I feel like i'm fighting a war with myself, all the time, trying to recover but nothing ever ( Read more... )

 I seriously aren't in a good place right now.

I have to attend occupational therapy by myself on Monday and i feel sick. My dad offered to drive me there, but that's going to be worse. There's no pacing around and around to lessen anxiety when you're dropped off directly outside the building. My brother has used up all the ink in my printer, yet ( Read more... )

 I have decided, i'm going to become more active in the community. I've been working harder on my SA issues, and i've always wanted to feel like i'm a part of a community rather than a lurker who's too afraid to talk to anyone (there are times when i'm able to comment on things, but i find it hideously difficult all the same). So please bare with ( Read more... )

Safe to say that i've messed up.

Bulimia is back to purging multiple times a day.
Restricting likes to torment me.
College is now over.

And i can't leave my room without anxiety at the moment.
So, no idea what to do anymore.

My rooms not big enough to exercise, bruised my back along the spine trying to do my morning situps.
No soft carpetting. Sucks. ( Read more... )

Hey everyone ( Read more... )

I don't know what to do at the moment, i went back to college on friday and all was well and good, happy that i've started to chip away at my avoidance and fears. All should be well in the land of Gem, but tis' not i'm afraid.
You get back, settle in, and you're faced with triggers every where. Kerry Ann talking about her "fat day" so she's wearing ( Read more... )