I don't understand why there has to be a problem... I'm making there be a problem... right?? I should just egnore it... new resolution for this month... to be strong, when A. reaches out to me, to look at him in the eye, and move away... with strenght and determination... because I am destroying myself... also this stupid test is worht 25%... FECK ( Read more... )

HEY all, I'm here... complaining ... AGAIN... just to remind people... you don't actually HAVE to read these... I just use them as a way to let out a little of the pent up steam... :) well, I'm off to a dance rehealsal in about 15 minutes, so I'm going to make this a short one... I'm going to sell the Iphone... I know... It's going to kill me, but ( Read more... )

Everything officially sucks, today... another pretty bad day... had fun, but with that shitty bad fealing at the back of the mind... :(
x

Everything is so so so very confusing, and hurtful... and a MESS. my life has ALWAYS been a complete mess, but it hasn't really bothered me much before... I... o fuck it.... I really feel very awful... o. poo. these mood swings are REALLY getting to me... :( and i feel so LONELY. I'm trying unsuccessfully to write in cursive... and stuffing myself ( Read more... )

but i have to get up at 8... 4 hours from now (it is now 4:01) and go to lectures... and i have a sore throat... o woe... :)

 I'm feeling so much better today, it is now... 3:56 AM... just got back from a SNOWBALL FIGHT!! and it was truly AWESOME!! we also built a small snowman... the photos r on facebook, under 'snow in april!!!' :) i feel so much better, I really do... 
I went over to S's flat... we did some ahem 'work' talked about... STUFF, ALOT... we... COOKED, ( Read more... )

Things are getting really out of control now... nothing is happening... its lie, life has come to a standstill... and its just getting really frustrating. I still have no motivation to do anything, I have yet to find direction in life... and now its getting really annoying. I need to start living for myself, hoping and working towards something. I ( Read more... )

I am starting to feel really awful, these days... It really sucks... I feel really down ALL THE FREAKING TIME, really short tempered and angry... R pointed out that it might just be the lack of nutrition in my diet.... it is a possibility... admitadly, I have yet to have a major blow up... I just feel really pissed off inside... I just finished ( Read more... )

Just between checking my 'friends page' and clicking the 'post' link, I realized several things about myself ( Read more... )

I have had YET ANOTHER really PISSY day... its like im really short tempered ALL THE FREAKING TIME, NOW.... GR. and A. is out drinking with his stupid drink buddies... urg, and i totally begrudge him that.... i was just totally normal... normal and depressed and a total bitch... and i totally didnt care... but now im bitchier and more stressy, and ( Read more... )