" You must be overwhelmed by the frightful wrath of God who so hated sin that he spared not his only begotten son... Take this to heart and doubt not that you are the one who killed Christ. Your sins certainly did, and when you see the nails driven through his hands, be sure that you are pounding, and when the thorns pierce his brow, know that ( Read more... )

 By a better vision.

Is a book I am starting to read. I have no idea how to help J, this issue is completely at odds to my experience, but I can try to understand on some levels.

I desperately want to help. In any way I can. But it is so difficult to know how. I love him so much... and I hate the thought of anything coming between us. I think this ( Read more... )

 I think I am enjoying the challenge... of no crack, and not having J here to be accountable to*. It is so encouraging to know that even though I have more than enough crack to do a significant amount of damage, no one is watching me to make sure I eat, and I'm not accountable to anyone for how much I work out, I'm just... living. Not trying to ( Read more... )

 So living without the crack(!) is easier than i thought... not greatly helpful however is when you have a close friend flaunting her own ED'd behaviour in response to your confession of trying to give it up.
Lets chalk that up to insensitivity and not read into it any further. I am acutely aware of the potential risks of this relationship, but ( Read more... )

 I think it was a mistake. Giving them up ( Read more... )

 I know there's a lot of quotes here, I don't seem to have my own words at the moment, and this is a good place to store them ( Read more... )

 "There is never a sudden revelation, a complete and tidy explanation for why it happened, or why it ends, or why or who you are. You want one and I want one, but there isn't one. It comes in bits and pieces, and you stitch them together wherever they fit, and when you are done you hold yourself up, and still there are holes and you are a rag doll ( Read more... )

 Bittersweet is the idea that in all things there is both something broken and something beautiful, that there is a moment of lightness on even the darkest of nights, a shadow of hope in every heartbreak, and that rejoicing is no less rich even when it contains a splinter of sadness.

 We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside

Maybe we're bent and broken

We want more than this world's got to offer
We want more than the wars of our fathers
And everything inside screams for second life

I am starting to feel like this is holding me back. And I have no idea how to fix it. Not in a mopey, I feel ( Read more... )

The performance is convincing, We know every line by heart, 
Only when no one is watching, Can we really fall apart

There seems to be a horrible amount of realisations at the moment. 
1) This is controlling me.
When I first started this it was a game, an escape. I had to try. I was young, impressionable, and looking for support in possibly the wrong ( Read more... )