i have a very hard time when people lie.
which is rather hypocritical, seeing as i lie all the time. 
but i rationalize, because 
 ((it's not about big stuff))

hey you, just come clean
it will be better for you
and for all of us. 

"and this is one time 
that you can't fake it hard enough
to please everyone
or anyone at all
anyone at all."

you may think i'm being too dramatic, but
eight more months in this house
is about eight months too long.

today i cracked and let him see me cry 
funny how it didn't phase him.

i wish i could run away
but i would have nowhere to go.

and these damn tears
won't stop coming.

i'm just not as okay with this as i thought i'd be.

funny how something seems like not a big deal
and then you face it
and realize
it's tearing you up inside. 
i'm not trying to be emo
or ridiculous 
sorry if it seems that way.

when something becomes an obsession
in a matter of seconds 
it takes much longer than that
to get rid of it.

i'm not this basic, i ( Read more... )

open scene: 
the baldwin family is seated at the dinner table. conversation flows. dad proceeds to lift up his fist, making the 'pound it' gesture towards lisa.

lisa: dad can't pound it! 
lydia: yes he can! (pounds it with dad)
me: psh. anyone can pound it. except mom.
dad:  hey - i invented the pound it. in 1970. 
lydia and me: hahahahaha. 
dad: i did ( Read more... )

it's not fair. life isn't i suppose. 
so cliche. so true.

oh well, there's not much i can do.

fighting? i'm too scared of losing.
waiting? i'm way too impatient. 
talking? i'm not good at discussing this sort of thing.

giving up? that sounds just about right.

and then i realized 
that i would change any part of myself
if it only meant i would be loved.

and that is truly terrifying.

three days. three days are all it takes.

damn.

this isn't good.

crooked ink blots on crumpled paper 
seem to be some sort of message 
words from another life 
stare from the page

how long 
how long
will i stand?

i half believe
the truth 
is in your eyes 
but half beliefs 
can't make
all things right

let the blank walls stare you down
you'll lose the contest this time 
silently they watch your every step 
as you just wonder

( Read more... )

we all have multiple personalities 
parts of ourselves hidden from public's eye 
we keep our secrets.

why, then, should you be surprised?