I have been throwing up ALL day long. I don't get it. I didn't even drink last night or anything! And for some reason after throwing up this morning, I thought it would be a good idea to eat Moe's once I felt better. And now I feel a hundred times worse. This is mostly to remind myself to add eating giant burritos while inflicted with some stomach ( Read more... )

Um, remind me from now on to only shop at the Publix on Ocala, better known to the masses as "Club Publix" (and I now realize there is very good reason for this). No longer will I venture to Governor's Square or Lake Ella to avoid the Sunday afternoon crowds of grocery shoppers. From this day forth Mr. Hot Publix Guy will be bagging my groceries ( Read more... )

Ryan pees with the door open. It is gross.

I am alive, meaning you fuckers don't get any of my shit. Skydiving was pretty awesome. I'm still not sure how I managed to ever get out of that plane, but it ended up being worth it. You don't really feel like you are falling, which is what I was afraid of. I ended up losing one of my contacts though. The view was probably my favorite part, even ( Read more... )

Somehow I got suckered into going skydiving tomorrow. I am absolutely terrified and no longer wish to go. It is bad enough that I hate flying, but now I have to jump out of a damn plane. I am probably going to die tomorrow so I have decided to write up a will ( Read more... )

This past weekend it was Megan and Andrea's birthday, and there was a party at our house in their honor. Someone decided it would be funny to give them a blowup doll as a gift (sadly, it isn't even a real blowup doll, but a ring-toss game in which one tries to throw rings around Mr. Pecker's freakish foot-long inflated penis) and he has been ( Read more... )

Both my parents called me up last night to question the $30 charge I made on one of their credit cards to Mike's Beer Barn. It wasn't so much an "omg you're not allowed to drink yet!" or "buy beer with your own damn money" type situation, but it was more of a "hey, that's cool, how did you manage to buy it?" thing. But for the record, Mike's Beer ( Read more... )

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Instead of writing my paper on Jose Marti that is due tomorrow, I am busy making animated gifs. I do believe my kiwi icon is not bad for a first try.

I have come to realize that drunk people will eat anything and everything they find in your kitchen. And I do mean everything. They will eat your leftovers. They will stick their dirty hands into your unopened cereal boxes and have at it. They will eat all your apples that you just bought earlier in the day. Think no one will get the drunk munchies ( Read more... )