Dear Life~
If at all possible, I would like to know why you are sucking so much right now. Also, when would it be posible for you to stop? Please let me know A.S.A.P. Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Mary

Sometimes I feel like I'm the oyster and the world is my pearl.

Wow! That was delicious! I think I'll follow that up with a nice juicy turd for dessert!

her: Mary's busy.
turd: Oh, okay. I'll just call back later then.
her: No; she's actually going to be busy for the rest of her life.

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Mary!

1. Mary can jump up to sixteen times her own height.
2. The risk of being struck by Mary is one occurence every 9,300 years.
3. Only fifty-five percent of men wash their hands after using Mary!
4. Louisa May Alcott, author of 'Little Mary', hated Mary and only wrote the book at her publisher's request!
5. The first toy product ever ( Read more... )

In the early morning of October 11th in the rain tragedy struck - Mary was killed
by a car, and an unhurt Charlie stood by her until police led him away. ...

So I saw Brokeback Mountain last night (or, Cold Creek Mountain as Haley calls it). I know this sounds really cheesy and cliche, but I honestly feel like that movie is in the process of changing my life. I don't think I received it the way it was intended to be because of my childhood and having the father I have. It was very hard to watch, but it ( Read more... )

I AM JESUS CHRIST

have you accepted me as your personal lord and saviour?

I've been infected. http://www.myspace.com/wondrouswonders

Weary with toil, I haste me to my bed ( Read more... )

Here's to 2006 being a whole hell of a lot better than 2005.

( Resolution Madness )