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(Untitled)
One month, no fags, but Death, he still stalks me.
Early hours of Sunday morning, he goes looking on the street I lived in for the first 18 years of my life, I’m nowhere to be seen so he lets off steam combining speeding car with empty pub:
Drive Drink DramaSunday morning he visits the cottage, finds that I’ve left there too and must have got ( Read more... ) -
Caught up in a Century's Anxiety
Snuff Box is The Mighty Boosh that doesn’t leave a trail of screaming fashion twats in Vince Noir lightning flash t-shirts. It’s by the guys who play Bainbridge (Matt Berry) and Bob Fossil (Rich Fulcher) in the Boosh and revolves around a callous hangman and his fat apprentice ( Read more... ) -
My Sluggish Undead Heart (oooh... positively emo)
Finally, the great city of Coventry is on the media map! In the same way that The Office raised Slough’s profile from obscure hub-of-absolutely-nothing, to the high profile hub-of-absolutely-nothing, ‘Meet the Armstrongs’ on BBC 2 will no doubt highlight Coventry’s position as sluggish undead heart of the country. Woohoo! Proud much ( Read more... ) -
great grey walls of the planet’s perspiration
Happy hollow gesture day! I hope that, if you’re the sort of person who aches for spiritless tokens of contrived affection, you get everything you deserve on this, most vacant, Valentine’s Day ( Read more... ) -
The (self titled) ‘developed’ world is hooked on car
Last week I started working for a new company.
Doing a new job.
My new employers gave me a new phone.
And a new laptop.
In less than two weeks I move into a new house.
I’m going to need a new bed.
A new sofa.
A new bookcase ( Read more... ) -
Once made car crash by pointing shouting bang
Got steroids coursing through my veins, speeding like a fucking maniac in souped up, hypodermic Vauxhall Nova. My fingers gone expanded there, right before my eyes, but better now so all worthwhile ( Read more... ) -
Flirting playfully with the coast of Africa
Sat aghast at the coincidence was I on Wednesday morning. Alistair Beaton had kicked up an unrivalled political farce that I’d been enjoying greatly. His novel, ‘A Planet For The President’ plots the Climate Change story on course to it’s most evil conclusion, the planned extinction of most of mankind by those chosen to survive. The story has many ( Read more... ) -
Fading Faster Than Polaroid
The more urgent things become, the less inclined I am to address them ( Read more... ) -
Shut up man. Go get some wine.
I wrote the following, Oy Baloy, a while ago but didn’t post it. It’s a bit distorted but it’s not a dream ( Read more... ) -
Electric pink elastic band
I’m turning into an old man. Literally. I’ve not been myself for a few months, I’ve had no energy and I’ve been waking up with aches and pains but just lately, it’s been getting progressively worse. Now my joints are inflamed, my middle knuckle on my right hand is at least twice it’s normal size, and most mornings I’m unable to move my hands, feet ( Read more... )