( I'LL EAT THE WHOLE THING )

so...
false alarm.

once again, i have become the master of my own fate.
i am god.

i got home this morning from laurel's house(9:45) and went to my room and slept.
when i woke up it was like.. two in the afternoon and mother wasn't home.
i proceeded to boil my marijuana utencil so as to clean the muck out from it's depths. 
what an awful smell, it' ( Read more... )

so!
i guess my presence in my home can no longer be tolerated.
i offered to go to a friend's house,

"if you can't handle this living situation you can go find another one."
as soon as i actually did.. it was 'no.'
so.. now she has me going to chico on thursday.
she left for work and her friend took evan for tonight.
she says i can go anywhere tonight ( Read more... )

i was highly disappointed today.
eh, what can you do?
right?

so..
my mother works nights every day of the week except thursdays and fridays.
my brother works every night of the week except saturdays.
i'm not going to make my brother watch my little brother the only night of the week he has off..
so...
this leaves me two free nights out of a seven night ( Read more... )

funk dat.
question.

that's really all i have to say.
well, yeah.. no.

i have but four goals over this already pleasant summer.

• hang out with a.j. laurel and sir sky siwy.
  
• score some buckwheats
  
• smoke tea
  
• have a three-some with autumn r. konrad.

the abundance of boogers in my right nostrel is outrageous.
would you care for a snibblet?
tis bomb.
oh ho ( Read more... )

"I can see George Washington's face in the trees," She said with the reflection of the stars in Her eyes. 
 "I see gorillas," He paused. "In the outlines." She turned slightly to Her left where He stood, looking.
She let a small gust of used air out of Her nose, "What's with you and gorillas?"

They sat on the dock that night, with the mist laying ( Read more... )

oh the beauties i've seen...

"hey keri?"
"what?"
"who's in that bed with you?"

now don't get me wrong, i don't tickle no weiner.
i am not a weiner tickler.
i tickler the proper way.
with violence.
and kisses.

....flaaah-la-la-la-ah-ah.

ME: hi-five!
KID: no.
CONOR: you don't know where her hand has been.
ME: it's been in my vagina.

KID: you have a boy's hair cut.
CONOR: it's cause she's a lesbian.
ME: yeah, i like titties.
CONOR: actually, she's pretty straight.
ME: yeah, i like the cock.

one of the coolest conversations i think i have ever had with a ten year old.

[1] Go into your LJ’s archives.
[2] Find your 100th post (or closest to).
[3] Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
[4] Post the text of the sentence in your lj along with these instructions.

i left it on the one side for like ten minutes.

me, referring to a burnt grilled cheese sammich.

oh god, i'm so intelligent.

oh baby you, you got what i need ( Read more... )

*Instructions:*
Write one statement to each person on your LJ friends list.

1. You have the coolest middle name i think i have ever heard.
2. I was going to have your name.
3. I don't hate you, I just find myself insulting you a lot.. it's amusing, ok?
4. OH YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAH-YEAH!!!!
5. You really like george carlin.. and that's all i really know ( Read more... )