Kagefumi (03/29)
Title: Kagefumi
Author: Fabi & Dani (dani_mathoz)
Translator: br_arashi Thank you ♥
Pairing: Ohmiya (main), Aiba x ? (mentioned)
Genre: Romance and Angst
Rating: NC-17
Summary: 'Two lonely and suffered hearts look in the shadows of an agitated city, the light that can free them from the darkness in which they live'
Disclaimer: I don't own them, sadly ;-;
Just a reminder, English is not our first language please be kind ♥
CHAPTER 3
I see a familiar figure and I try to follow it in my slumber
I can’t remember what I dreamed of, just of wandering aimlessly
There is a gap of time missing
These feelings I let out, they won’t reach anyone anymore
Even if I’m fated to be lonely
I hold on tightly to my shivering heart
My body is screaming in the inside
Lost in an infinite maze
With my memories full of scratches
I’ll keep wondering until the end of my sorrows
Breathless
As if it wasn’t enough to have those boxes everywhere, the darkness of the warehouse was also responsible for taking away the surprise element that the young officer thought he had in that approach.
The sound of the pipes he tripped in gave out not only his presence, but also his position. He got down, protecting himself behind an old container. He felt his heart racing and cursed in a whisper, mad at himself. He should have followed the orders of waiting for backup instead of risking the operation by trying to settle things on his own.
With no way out, he took his gun out of the holster and pointed out at random. He didn’t remember pulling the trigger, but he heard the sound of the shot and the hard thump of a body falling on the floor.
He got closer to the body, carefully, shivering and with a bad feeling.
- Satoshi... - the voice he knew so well said his name, painfully.
- Tou-chan! - he cried desperately, getting down towards the body he was able to recognize even in the dusk.
**************************
Sho Sakurai kissed the sweet-smelling front softly before placing the little body at the bed. He fixed a lock of the dark soft hair behind an ear and covered her with a blanket. Smiling, he sat at the armchair beside the bed in order to watch the little girl, snoring calmly in her sleep, for a little while longer.
She didn’t seemed at all the hyperactive for-years-old girl he found when he got home. As soon as he arrived home, she jumped in his arms, demanding his full attention and ignoring completely her mother’s orders to let him, at least, take a shower and dine in peace.
The same thing happened every day, since his sister asked for a temporary asylum, until she could overcome a financial crisis she had been facing. The situation had been going for four months already. However, instead of displeasing him, having his younger sister and his niece around cheered him up. It was good to arrive at home and find someone waiting for him, and even more if the little girl in question was the cutest thing in the whole world.
- Has she gone to your bedroom again? - asked his sister, waking up with the noise. - I’m so sorry, Sho-nii. I’m so tired I didn’t even notice she leaving. It won’t happen anymore, I promise.
- Don’t worry - Sho comforted her, smiling with the memory of waking up with the little one cuddling with him in bed. A situation that, actually, happened a lot, since she was a sleepwalker. - I just brought her here because I didn’t want to hurt her in my restless sleep.
- But it’s not your responsibility, after all. You have done too much for us already...
- I do because I want to, not for being forced to it. You don’t have to worry about it. Sleep right, ok?
- You too - smiled the young girl.
With a last glance at the girl, Sho left the guestroom. It was past one in the morning when he got back to bed. He was ready to lay down when he heard his phone vibrating over the bedside table.
He wasn’t surprised when he looked at the screen, but he couldn’t help getting anxious about it.
- Hello.
- Sho-kun... - the broken voice answered. - I can’t… I can’t breathe…
- It’s alright, Satoshi - he cut with a firm voice, trying to hide his own anxiety due to his friend’s state. - You’re having a panic attack. It isn’t the first time and you know it will pass. Do you remember those breathing exercises I taught you?
- Sho-kun... help me... please...
- Breathe, Satoshi. Slow and deeply. Can you follow me? - the therapist forced a deep inspiration, then a long expiration, trying to make the sound as loud as possible for Ohno to copy him. It was with great relief he noticed his friend trying to follow him. - 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... One more time, ok? 1... 2... 3... 4... 5...
The procedure last for about five minutes, until Sho was certain that Ohno was relaxing. He noticed his breathing was calmer. Even so, he needed to help him restore the balance between his oxygen and the carbon dioxide completely in order to stabilize the beatings of his heart.
- Keep going, Satoshi. Keep breathing - he asked, trying to make his voice sound reassuring. Suddenly, he had an idea. If Ohno was a patient he didn’t quite know, he would never propose the idea that just popped in his head. As a professional, he knew that ignoring the crisis or trying to divert from it only increased the anxiety. However, in Satoshi’s case there was something that could calm him even more than the breathing control. - We used to sing together when we were teenagers. Do you remember how we used to lock ourselves in my room and turn the stereo on in the loudest volume? Do you remember that one…?
“These things are important... So you can’t tell no one about them...
Embracing you with my glaze
It would be good if we could only talk about ordinary stuff
Over and over again
It would seem endless, until you were able to notice it”
Ohno bit his own lips hearing his friend singing, in a deep tone, the first verse of a music they both enjoyed hearing in their teens. His voice had changed so much! Where had that childish and piercing voice he got so used to gone? Has it been that long since they had sung together? Maybe he should invite his friend to a karaoke. He closed his eyes, while feeling another teardrop running down. That time, however, although his heart was still racing, it wasn’t a desperate cry. It was nostalgic, his mind focused on a time when his sole worry was reading manga, listening to music and boasting about random stuff with his friends, especially Sho.
He didn’t even notice it, but the tuned and firm voice that always made people envy him joined the therapist’s. Suddenly, he forgot all about the nightmare that made him wake up screaming, caught in the angst and guilt from the past. He was once again the 14-year-old dreamy boy that believed life was happy inside his naivety bubble. He was in Sakurai’s chaotic bedroom, the stereo in the last volume. He was dancing while following the song, a deodorant bottle in hands as a microphone. Beside him, Sho was also making some clumsy steps, while taking the lead at the rap.
“The man beside you says on the phone
‘She’s sleeping here’
Since I’m distant, I can say
I’m the one who knows you better than anyone
Give me strenght
Even if there is no dawn
Oh, oh , oh (The bubble is so for my girl)
Give me strenght
Even if we can never undo it
Oh, oh, oh (You can try, you can try)
Give me strenght
The strenght to just tell her everything today
(What about you, girl?)
Whoa… What about you, girl?
Many nights, alone in the midnight sun
How could I get your luv? (Your love)
(Damn) like a fortress tower
Why did I have to fall in love?
‘Destroying the feelings I cannot stop’
Hatred is the opposite of these feelings
Ah, Lord, give me strength today
Cuz heart of her’s like a bubble
‘What about you, girl?’
- Are you feeling better?
The question brought him to reality and the chaotic colorful bedroom with posters all over the walls turned once again into a neutral, objective and more mature environment.
- Are you kidding me? After this tuneless voice? I think that, besides the panic attack, now I also have a serious earache…
Sho’s laughter echoed from the phone, showing him everything was calm now.
- I apologize for that.
Ohno smiled.
- Thanks, Sho-chan.
- What happened? Another nightmare?
- Yes. But I’m fine now.
- Really? Do you want me to stop by? I can get there in twenty minutes…
Yes, he wanted it. But he also didn’t want to abuse his friend, making him going out at that time of night. Besides, he didn’t know how to face him, considering the last time they’ve met.
- You don’t have to. I’m fine.
- Are you sure?
- Yes, I am.
- Anyway, don’t forget to take the medicine the psychiatrist prescribed you.
- I have already taken, so don’t worry, ok? And... Sho-chan... about last week… I’m so sorry.
- It’s alright, Satoshi.
- No, it’s not. You don’t deserve even a word I’ve said. I...
- You need a good night sleep - cut his friend, closing the matter.
Ohno thanked him silently for saving him the embarrassment of explaining himself.
- You are right. But if there’s anything I can do to erase the things I’ve said to you...
- You don’t have to worry about it, Satoshi. Just go to sleep.
- I will. And you shall go as well. It’s late already.
- Call me if you need me. Anytime, ok? And what about doing something together next week? I’m quite busy right now, but next week I’d really like to see you. Not as your therapist, but as your friend. I miss you...
- I miss you too, Sho-chan. Will you call me telling me when you have any free time?
- Of course, I will. So... Jya ne?
As soon as his friend turned off the phone, Ohno let his body fall heavily in bed, even if he was certain that he wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep anymore. Not only for the memories of his father’s death, but actually for the lack of them. The gaps from that day, the things he couldn’t recall no matter how hard he tried, those where the worst nightmare for him.
****************
- What do you think about this, Satoshi?
- Kawaii! But it’s a bit too big, don’t you think? It’s almost twice Aya-chan’s size.
Sho studied the giant Funassyi he was holding in hands.
- That’s the point! She will love it! - he assumed, with a smile on his face.
- If you say so. Isn’t it a bit expensive, Sho-chan? You could use this money to buy more useful things.
- Oh, I will, don’t worry. After all, the one paying for this plush is you!
- Eh? - Ohno asked, clueless. - Why me?
- Because Aya-chan will love to receive a present from her uncle Satoshi.
- In this case, shouldn’t I be the one choosing it? - he asked, opening the wallet and handing a credit card to the attendant.
- No. You’re terrible in choosing presents, moreover for a little kid you don’t see for quite some time. Go see her, ok? Aya-chan misses you.
- I will, I promise it.
- I hope you will fulfill your promises, Satoshi. But, for now, let’s go to that electronic house I told you about. I need a new GPS...
Ohno let his friend drag him around the streets of Shibuya. They had been walking around the district for two hours already, shopping, chatting and enjoying each other’s company. As Sho promised, there was not even a hint of the therapist there. Not even once had he mentioned the crisis he had a week ago not even the abuse lawsuit he was facing. They just talked about random and nostalgic subjects, while having a coffee or walking around the stores.
It was close to five in the afternoon when they decided to leave, full of packages. Most of them from Sho. Ohno only bought himself a new pair of boots and paid for the giant Funashi of his friend’s niece.
In their way to the car, he stopped suddenly in front of the Tower Records building.
- What’s the matter? Do you want to buy anything else?
- No, but this store reminded me about the night we were singing “The Bubble” on the phone. It occurred me that you've never gave me back my CD. Actually, it’s kind of a habit of yours to never return me the things you borrow. There’s also that DVD...
- I remember the DVD, but are you sure about the CD?
- Absolutely. I wonder if you still have it.
- Now that you mention I might take a look... No, I have a better idea. Come on - his friend dragged him inside the store - I’ll buy you a new one.
They rummaged through the huge store after old CDs. They found several albums they used to listen to when they were young, reminding parts of the songs… It was so nostalgic that they spent around twenty minutes before they found the Yama’s CD that had “The Bubble”.
- Hey, look at what I found... Wasn’t your mother a great fan of this singer?
Ohno didn’t hear it, however, paying attention to the music that started playing at the store. All of a sudden, his mind travelled to some weeks ago, precisely to a nightclub. It was the same music it was playing when he was approached by a young stranger with whom he had an unforgettable night.
He had mentioned the name of the band, but he didn’t get it. He could just say it was for its strange foreigner name, but the truth is that he couldn’t remember most of the things the guy said, too lost in the intense stare he gave him. In those dark eyes, a sadness had attracted him as soon as their eyes met, as if the boy with bleached hair shared the same sorrows he carried within. As if they said that, in a way, he knew what he was going through and could understand him.
- Sho-chan, do you know the name of the band playing that music?
- No, but we can ask someone - he answered, going to the counter.
Ohno reached him in time to hear him approaching an employee.
- Excuse me. Could you tell me the name of the music that is playing?
- Do you like it? It’s Sweater Weather, by The Neighbour-…
The words froze at the attendant’s mouth. His eyes opened briefly, as Satoshi’s did.
That reunion, it couldn’t be a coincidence, could it?
- Ohno-san...
His name said by the shocked voice of the boy with bleached hair made his stomach tingle in a way he had never felt before.
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Note: A bit late but Happy Birthday Sho-chan ♥
Soooo minna one more chapter, here we revelead a bit more about Yama relationship and Ohno's past but have so muuuuch more to happen. Sorry for didn't reply your comments but I'm working like a crazy without off days I'll answer ASAP! Thank you each comment make our day better ♥
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