i'm completely totally in love with my best friend. but my assface stepdad destroyed any chances of us being together. we're nto even allowed to see each other! i want to kill myself, but i could never leave him. he doesn't like me like that, he said it's because we're too close, but i think its because i'm too fat. i'm only a size 12 but all his friends are 8's and 10's. and fat is ugly, i know that, i'm told that every day by loads of shitheads at school. i would die for a boyfriend. DIE. but only for a certain type of guy, i'm shalllow. long fringe and black hair, spikey at the back, brown eyes, skinny, wears tight girls jeans, and would bring me flowers. i'm really shallow! shallow, fat, and also a liar. i lie to get my way, often enough 'no mum of course i was at school' is probably my favorite. that and 'im going to ...'s' to go and see the boy i love. i know we're right for each other, but everything else is wrong. xoxo
I hate alot of people for the most trivial things and it irks me. I hate to lose because I'd do anything to win, even betray my closest friends or sell anyone out to that enemy. I don't tell my friends things that I think will give them a hold over me or tips that teachers give on the exams that they missed. If I do, I regret it later. I've watched porn and hated myself for it. Sometimes, I'm too horny for my own good. I HATE THIS PART OF ME!!
I've had bad fantasies about weird people that I barely even know in school. I stole from my friends in primary school because I didn't have a proper pen. I fight with my mother sometimes and hate and curse her afterwards and give me a while and I'll be sorry for everything I did. I lie about my parents' occupation to all my parents and some parts about my life that I shouldn't. I should change.
I meant friends in the above post about lying about my parents' occupation and bits of my life. I lie to all my friends. I think bad thoughts and I love God when my father is anti-christainity (he's a buddhist). I stole from my parents a couple of times too. 50 and 10 bucks each. I hate this, I hate this part of me alot. I want to change.
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i lie at LEAST once a day. the ironic thing is, i LOATHE liars.
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but my assface stepdad destroyed any chances of us being together.
we're nto even allowed to see each other!
i want to kill myself, but i could never leave him.
he doesn't like me like that, he said it's because we're too close, but i think its because i'm too fat. i'm only a size 12 but all his friends are 8's and 10's. and fat is ugly, i know that, i'm told that every day by loads of shitheads at school.
i would die for a boyfriend. DIE.
but only for a certain type of guy, i'm shalllow. long fringe and black hair, spikey at the back, brown eyes, skinny, wears tight girls jeans, and would bring me flowers. i'm really shallow!
shallow, fat, and also a liar. i lie to get my way, often enough 'no mum of course i was at school' is probably my favorite. that and 'im going to ...'s' to go and see the boy i love. i know we're right for each other, but everything else is wrong.
xoxo
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