I measure my self worth on how much others like me. for as long as i can remember i have been trying to please everyone but i always come away feeling that i am just irritating people, so i have very low self worth (and pretty much always have).
4 years ago i lost my best friend and i never got to say goodbye. she meant the world to me and i have never fully recovered. you know how people always tell you that over time your heart will heal? well in my case that has proven to be wrong. i still cry myself to sleep and i still walk around, pretending to be fine when really i'm not. i have moved on with my life, however there will always be that part of me that is completely attached to her and that holds me back. i miss her more than i could ever express and i would do anything to have her back, even if only for a day....
im a little lonely because i haven't ever had a boyfriend, and i feel like i repel all men. i find it hard to talk to anyone i'm remotely interested in because i'm scared i'll make a fool of myself and as a result they feel like im ignoring them or being rude. im slowly losing faith in having a meaningful relationship.
im sorry that all throughout highschool, we always talked about one of our friends behind her back. sure she did some stupid things, but there is no purpose in making fun of others. i think that i'm one of the nicest people in the world, but that i'm not treated in the same manner. I often find myself thinking that I'm smarter and more mature than most other people, and I think that they need to grow up and show a little fucking respect.
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I feel horrible after physical encounters, no matter who they're with.
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same here.
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