Comments | dare_challenge: THE WAY THE WORLD ENDS

_alicesprings in dare_challenge

THE WAY THE WORLD ENDS

Sep 01, 2006 22:33

Title: The Way the World Ends
Written By: faile02
Timeline: During and directly after season one
Rating: G
Summary: Daphne was always Brian's biggest advocate.
Author Notes: This is unbeta'd due to a time restraint. Forgive me. This is also my first QaF fic, so any sort of constructive crit would be awesome. 1035 words

( The Way the World Ends )

Comments 52

QaF first fic firehead30 September 5 2006, 07:40:09 UTC

This may be your first fic but you have a wonderful way of getting into a side character's head. I enjoyed your Daphne perspective. You also have some really nice lines in here.At first, you thought Brian was going to break him. Justin was trying so hard and you were there for every minute of it, and you liked Brian, you really did, but every time Justin was happy, every time you thought he finally had it together, Brian kicked him in stomach and you had to watch Justin struggle to stay above water. This carried concern, frustration and loyalty, nicely done. But my favorite lines were these:
After Justin went inside, you sat in the car for a few minutes and waited. You waited until you saw Michael leave and you waited even longer until you saw Justin again, tucked carefully under Brian's arm ( ... )

Re: QaF first fic faile02 September 11 2006, 00:38:14 UTC

Thank you! It's very flattering to have your fic quoted back at you, I can't even tell you. Daphne's one of my favorite characters (outside of our boys, of course)... she deserved to have her say.

seamonkeyz27 September 6 2006, 01:37:29 UTC

Your Daphne voice was great... beautfifully written

faile02 September 11 2006, 00:38:26 UTC

Thank you!

chering September 6 2006, 04:12:38 UTC

A lovely first effort and something very different from what I have read in the past. I've often thought about what Daphne would have done after Justin didn't return to the prom to get her and your description was perfect.

"You were out of breath and scared shitless by the time you saw the EMT's and Brian, covered in blood that wasn't his. You took his cell phone away from him, moving him aside for the emergency workers to do their job. It was numbing, making the important calls that Brian couldn't make (Mrs. Taylor, your mother). After a moment, you called Debbie, one of the few names in Brian's cell phone that meant anything to you.

I could totally see this happening...oh how I wish we would have! Very nice job.

faile02 September 11 2006, 00:39:03 UTC

Thank you so much!

netlagd September 6 2006, 04:44:29 UTC

such a wonderful voice
good job!

faile02 September 11 2006, 00:40:24 UTC

Thank you! I tried. :-)

THE WAY THE WORLD ENDS fansee September 6 2006, 20:33:52 UTC

This was your first fanfic? I'm impressed. Very clever AND original, telling it from Daphne's pov.

The lack of a beta shows. If you ever need one agian, I'd be glad to help out. FanSee, the grammar nerd

Re: THE WAY THE WORLD ENDS faile02 September 11 2006, 00:44:42 UTC

Well, it's my first QaF fic... I wrote a few drabbles when I first got into the fandom, but the drabble community died out, unforunutally. But I used to write Highlander and HP fic and long ago, I wrote some X-Men stuff.

Yeah, I had to rush to finish the story... I actually finished writing it the day it was due, in the hotel on my first day of vacation. I had a crazy month with a number of things going on in my personal life and other LJ deadlines to get to. I hate posting unbeta'd stuff like that, but I really had no other choice to get it in on time. Next time, I'll keep you in mind, thank you!

Re: THE WAY THE WORLD ENDS fansee September 11 2006, 01:48:15 UTC

I had a crazy month with a number of things going on in my personal life and other LJ deadlines to get to.

Real Life can be a bitch! Anyway, I loved your story and thank you for submitting it, beta'd or unbeta'd. I wouldn't have wanted to miss it. FanSee