Why the hell does all the bad shit happen at the end of the year? I mean, I try to get hopeful for the New Year, and shit just keeps piling up. I had thought that after having such a crappy X-mas weekend, things would get better, and for the most part I guess they have. Only one major clitch in that prospect..... I received what I would ( Read more... )

Happy Holiday's!!!! I hope everyone is having a better holiday season then I am. I was doing great emotionally/mentally until mid Dec. rolled again. I then started getting rather depressed and not looking forward to the holidays at all. Over the past years I have come to seriously dislike the holidays. This year is no exception. ( Proceed if you wanna read about my stressful days )

I am on such a high that I don't think anyone could bring me down. I finally met Charles Anthony on Friday!!!! I drove up to Toledo early Friday morning and spent the afternoon with him. We had such a great time together just talking. It was absolutely magnificent. I can't wait to see him again. I believe in my last entry I mentioned that I ( Read more... )

SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS!!!!! As of 17th, it will be 3 weeks since I have heard from Charles. I am driving myself crazy wondering why the hell he has suddenly disappeared. It hurts to say the very least. I've been through all this shit before, and it always sucks, but this time it seems to hurt more. I certainly understand what navarreankh has been going ( Read more... )

I wanted to note that I had the pleasure of hanging out with the fabulous navarreankh last night. It was nice being able to just sit and chat with her for several hours. It would definetly be nice if our schedules allowed us to hang out more often ( Read more... )

I decided to be a little more pro-active this year in re: to the holidays and sharing the happiness with all my friends - so please fill the poll out!!! Thanks!

Poll Christmas Goodies

It's wierd how I can be so strong in some areas of my life and so weak in others. I haven't written Shawn Michael. He hasn't written me. Those are two very good things. I still think about it though. I know that will take some time to stop. On the other hand, I wanted to quit smoking, and that lasted a whole day. I don't know what it is ( Read more... )

I can't help but keep wondering about Shawn Michael. Gretchen read my previous entry and said that she wouldn't be surprised if I did hear from Shawn again. It's o.k. if I do. I haven't written him. I'm not going to write him. If I do I will just be feeding into his b.s. and that isn't good. I have to maintain my strength and my stand. He ( Read more... )

Beth let me borrow the book "The Notebook" by Nicholas Sparks, inwhich I read the entire book within 5 hours today. I can't remember any other book ever affecting me as deeply as this book just has. I was sitting here at work, fighting back tears, and finally losing in the end. This is a book that I know I will read over many more times throughout ( Read more... )

I printed out the letter to Shawn Michael and I am sitting here staring at it. I absolutely can not fold it and put it in the envelope. I am scared to death. Gretchen says it goes back to the abandonment issue, but he's not abandoning me, is he? Yeah, I guess he already did and I just have to make the choice to protect myself. I honestly didn' ( Read more... )