Fuck.

Nov 11, 2005 17:23

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Comments 9

spiritualorchid November 11 2005, 22:42:37 UTC
aw, dude. So you messed up. It happens! Don't be so hard on yourself. :/

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dariodevil November 14 2005, 13:35:06 UTC
Working on it. ;)

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syringavulgaris November 11 2005, 23:54:32 UTC
Pick up. Move on. And try not to smoke them all in twelve hours so that your throat turns into the slag heaps of Mordor again.

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dariodevil November 14 2005, 13:35:36 UTC
Done, done, and done!

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dkfromtk November 11 2005, 23:57:53 UTC
Dude, you're human and nicotine is one of the most addictive substances on Earth, if not the. There's no shame in not being able to stop yourself from picking up a pack.

At least you're trying. My mom hides her cigarettes from my stepdad, and he hides his from mom. You're several steps above them, easily. At least you're repentant.

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dariodevil November 14 2005, 13:36:23 UTC
Yeah, I know. I needed to get that tantrum out because I was having an anxiety attack and I just needed to vent some of the negativity before it festered and cast a shadow over my weekend.

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naudia November 12 2005, 08:12:58 UTC
What is done is done. If you feel that you cannot carry cash while you are quitting, then perhaps that is a step that you need to take. Beating yourself up for your actions is only going to cause more stress. You've set a goal. You've been moving toward it. You slip up sometimes. It's only natural to be frustrated. Finding what triggers these slips, and using that energy you just spent beating yourself up to instead find a plan that you like to avoid such situations in the future might help :) I know you know all of that, and I don't need to remind you.. It's just a long winded way of saying "Hey, I see you're having a hard time. I care. Wish there was something I could do." :/

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dariodevil November 14 2005, 13:41:44 UTC
I appreciate it, a lot. :) I'm working on it.

The voluntary lack of ATM card is the step you describe. I'd been ATM-less for some time, but needed cash for the weekend trip. As soon as I got it though, there was this internal tug of war. To avoid that situation, I have to either be A) without cash or B) away from any places that sell cigarettes. Also, some days are better than others regarding this situation. The little hissyfit anxiety attack certainly didn't help.

Baby steps. They're all just frustrating-yet-necessary baby steps, including all these slip ups.

Oh, and speaking of the cigarette money - you'll be getting a check from me this week for $100. That's the money I borrowed from Tori because the bank was closed that morning, passed onto you because she owes you. I'll get that to you this week or next (let me know if you need it ASAP). :)

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naudia November 14 2005, 19:20:37 UTC
Baby steps are hard, but the fact that you're doing them is admirable.

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