Thanks for sharing this.kindelingboyNovember 13 2011, 06:44:28 UTC
Parties tend to have to have a very specific formula for me to relax and have a good time. If not, I do as you do: withdraw. Drinking makes this a lot easier. These days I just don't bother to go to parties. One-on-one interactions or small groups of people I know tend to be the only social gatherings where I actually enjoy myself. So I guess I can commiserate.
Honestly, I wish I had the foresight to drink more before/during these parties so that I could enjoy myself and talk to people and emulate all the behavior I see around me. Everyone else seems to be having fun.
Maybe we should start throwing dinner/gaming parties? Just people we know and want to spend time with. Might not have the saturation or timeliness of bigger shindigs but could allay some mutual problems.
I totally hear you on that one. I remember when I had gone to Vancouver back in 2007 (the year Mikaela was living there) I was pretty uncomfortable with meeting everyone at the same time. Once you guys had all left to go on your walk and it was just Dan, Mikaela, Lisa, Shaun and I left I was much more comfortable. Once you guys got back I was totally fine... what we had done had helped me with that.
Being socially anxious in a group of people you don't know very well is common.
It's good that you are able to see what feelings provoked the behaviour and that you want to do things to change the setting to alter the feelings so the behaviour is not provoked. Good idea! :)
Just go to less parties. Or rather, be more selective over ones which ones you do attend. I'm sure in your observations you can glean which of your friends are good at inviting "the right people" for x and y events and which people are less discriminate. Finding this out in turn will make you more discriminate as well. It doesn't make you a sober curmudgeon either, it just means you'd rather spend your energy on the people that matter rather than concerning yourself around those that don't. Yeah?
Party navigation is a skill, one that I used to be pretty bad at. I don't really have social anxiety per se, but it may surprise you to know that I used to be very, very shy, and I found parties very difficult
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Social anxiety is terrible, isn't it?
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Honestly, I wish I had the foresight to drink more before/during these parties so that I could enjoy myself and talk to people and emulate all the behavior I see around me. Everyone else seems to be having fun.
Maybe we should start throwing dinner/gaming parties? Just people we know and want to spend time with. Might not have the saturation or timeliness of bigger shindigs but could allay some mutual problems.
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Social anxiety is pretty rough tho. *bighugs*
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It's good that you are able to see what feelings provoked the behaviour and that you want to do things to change the setting to alter the feelings so the behaviour is not provoked. Good idea! :)
Just go to less parties. Or rather, be more selective over ones which ones you do attend. I'm sure in your observations you can glean which of your friends are good at inviting "the right people" for x and y events and which people are less discriminate. Finding this out in turn will make you more discriminate as well. It doesn't make you a sober curmudgeon either, it just means you'd rather spend your energy on the people that matter rather than concerning yourself around those that don't. Yeah?
:)
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