( Look my first cut )

Today has singly been the worst day I have had for months now.  All kinds of stuff happened and it is all culminating within me.  A swirling mass of loss pain and despair.  Confusion in large amounts and who knows what else.  LEt me just go off of the top of my head.  I just realized that I have no more money.  I am essentially broke.  That isn't ( Read more... )

This time I think I am going to go somewhere. I mean with my writing not with physically. I was thinking about things. Well I guess I would say realizing things. My processing has taught me that things are weird. In my life and in general. I know that I feel like I don't belong still. I fit in just fine right now. It kind of stings. I'm a coward. ( Read more... )

I'm shocked this is 3 days in a row. Well I guess that its good. Well things are weird for me. I feel kind of fed up in a way. Fed up with people and the world around. Even more so than I have been at other times. At the same time I feel less fed up to. I had ba cool talk with Mr.Demoss at lunch today about my grandfather's book. His ( Read more... )

I'm off the stuff. Today I wasn't on ritalin because I ran out and my dad didn't get me anymore. Well it really makes a difference because today I had problems paying attention and I almost fell asleep. It of course was compounded by the fact that I didn't get enough sleep at all so I was even less attentive but I had a harder time staving off ( Read more... )

Yes I'm sad indeed. Everyday I am home I'm sad. I think about my sister and her future or my mother and her present. It all makes me so very very sad. Then there is the house itself. Well no matter what I do I know I won't be happy. This year school is too much fr me to be able to keep the house upkept and especially cook meals every night. ( Read more... )

Well I'm gonna update again this weekend and then do my homework.  Well school is going alright but I'm sure I can say that.  I have kinda been thinking about some things.  I am in a rut in a way but maybe a good rut.  I think I'm near acheiving something.  Something that I have never done before.  I don't think I am there.  Not yet.  I do think I ( Read more... )

I feel shocked.  I was Iming people today and I realized that have at least somewhat meaningful conversations with people who mean something to me made me feel more lonely than I have in a while.  I have a few theories that I won't divulge here for lack of time and such.  If anybody cares to read my words I am updating once a week I hope.  On the ( Read more... )

First things first, my phone line has been out for at least a week explaining some of my entry absence.  On to whatever I'm about to write.

School is back which is pretty cool in a lot of ways and in many others not.  So far I have had a [retty good first week and such.  I have made movies taken a test and done all kinds of stuff.  I just got ( Read more... )

It's me Nathan.  I am writing this from Eugene Oregon.  I am at my uncle's house with him my aunt my cousain and my sister.  Well as most people know I left on Wednesday well it has been busy to say the least.  On Thursday we left to go to camping.  That was geat believe it or not with tents and all.  My aunt and cousain Kristi who is 19 are geat ( Read more... )