[Sakumoto Fic]: Thunderstorms and Tempest Cloud 6.2: Muddied Waters
[ Prologue] | [ Chapter 1] | [ Chapter 2.1] | [ Chapter 2.2] | [ Chapter 3] | [ Chapter 4.1] | [ Chapter 4.2] | [ Chapter 5.1] | [ Chapter 5.2]
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From Cloud 6.1.
He felt his neutral expression give way to a tightness in his cheeks, the growing lump in his throat threatening to choke - or was it release? - the scream he felt building up inside of him.
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The next time Jun stepped back into Sho’s room, he had on his shield of stoicism that had seen him through bouts of insecurity growing up as a public figure in the eye of media attention. A quick scan revealed Aiba seated quietly by Sho’s side, holding his unbandaged wrist while his eyes were on the small television screen that had its volume turned down, as if he was afraid the noise would disturb Sho’s rest. Nino and Ohno were seated on the sofa facing Sho’s bed, the gamer’s head resting on Riida’s shoulder, his eyes staring unseeingly at Sho’s resting prone figure. Ohno’s fatigue had obviously caught up to him, eyes closed and heading lolling intermittently.
Softly, Jun made his way to the side of the bed opposite to Aiba, and watched the steady rise and fall of Sho’s chest. He kept a death grip on the side rail, clamping down on the need to personally check for signs that anything might have been overlooked by the hospital staff. By now, it mattered little whether the other members suspected if there was more than friendship between Sho and himself; it was the sense of helplessness that even if there was something wrong with Sho, there was little he could do. Before Jun could voice his increasing sense of inadequacy, Aiba quietly informed him that Sho’s parents had left, reassured by the three members who insisted on staying behind that they would call should anything change in Sho’s condition. Tamakura-san had needed more cajoling he said, the older man convinced that he was to blame for Sho’s condition.
“He kept blaming himself, saying he should have warned Sho to keep his seatbelt on,” Aiba frowned unhappily to recall the distress on Tamakura-san’s face.
“Well, it’s too little too late, isn’t it?” the unexpected irritation in Jun’s voice slipping out and pulling Nino’s gaze towards himself.
“Jun-chan,” the chiding tone in Aiba’s voice all too apparent. “You don’t really mean that.”
“Don’t I?” The snarl in his voice was betrayed by the pained look bestowed upon the unconscious man lying on the bed. It was suddenly easier to deflect the self-directed blame, and Jun refused to acknowledge the inner voice that reproached himself for unfairly shifting the blame.
“Tamakura-san’s been with Sho for so long. He wouldn’t have wanted anything bad to happen to him,” Aiba nervously mediated, wanting to speak up for their non-present comrade, yet wary of drawing Jun’s attention to himself. “To any of us.”
Before Jun could snap a retort his way, a firm hand had twisted itself in the front of Jun’s shirt, effectively yanking the youngest member away from the bed, and forcing his eyes to meet with Nino’s inflamed orbs.
“That’s epic Jun. Like you’re not just trying to find a convenient scapegoat.”
“Let. Go. Kazu.” Jun gritted out, adamantly refusing to acknowledge the truth of the words that were flung his way.
“Or what, Jun? Or what?” Even with the height disadvantage, the slighter man’s grip tightened, the incensed words goading Jun even as the youngest was backed into the wall beside Sho’s bed.
Aiba had shot out of his seat, trying to pull Nino off Jun, but all that registered in Jun’s brain was that Sho would have stepped in, that he would never have let anyone of them get so out of line with one another, that Sho would have-
He physically crumpled at Nino’s feet as he felt the fight leave him completely.
“Sho would have been perfectly fine if I hadn’t given him the meds. If I hadn’t-” His words were cut off by the sob that threatened to push itself out into the open.
Jun could see Nino advancing on him through the blur of moisture gathering in his eyes.
“What? Jun, are you out of your-”
“Nino.”
The formerly sleeping member now stood at the foot of Sho’s bed, all signs of drowsiness drained away, replaced by calm in its wake. Ohno’s voice effectively arrested all movement, and even the hitch in Jun’s sobs seemed to ebb a little.
Nino threw a weighted look at Ohno, before turning back to Jun, his eyes filled with mixed emotions. He shakily ran a hand through his already dishevelled hair, before stalking over to the sofa to grab his bag and marching out of the room without a second glance backwards.
Ohno’s soft sigh was the only sound in the room for the next few seconds as Aiba moved to help a by-now quiet but crestfallen Jun rise to his feet. The normally rambunctious member kept his own counsel, guiding a morose Jun to his earlier vacated seat, and placing Sho’s hand in Jun’s before moving over to confer with Ohno.
“Oh-chan…” Aiba’s face was filled with dejection, torn between wanting to help Jun and ill at ease that Nino had left in frustration.
“Stay with Jun,” Ohno’s words were quiet, but commanding. “I’ll catch up to Nino.”
By the time the oldest had left and Aiba turned back to the two left behind in the room with him, he felt his own eyes water a little; Jun had calmed down considerably, his attention steadfastly trained on their resting bandmate, alternately petting and combing his right hand through Sho’s locks even as his left hand gently cradled what Aiba had entrusted to him. Aiba could see Jun’s lips moving, the words too quiet for him to make out. While he was sure that Jun was trying in his own way to try to reach out to Sho, the thought that the whispered words may have no effect threatened to break the dam on Aiba’s own rising emotions.
“Masaki.”
The mellowness in Jun’s voice shook Aiba out of his stupor, willing the only remaining member to come closer to the hospital bed.
“I’ll watch Sho tonight. You’ll come in the morning to take over, okay?” Jun said, still facing away from Aiba.
“Jun…”
“Masaki.” Jun was struggling to keep his voice placid. “Please, Aiba-chan.”
It physically hurt for Aiba to see the normally rational and strong-minded Jun unconditionally - unconsciously even - lower his defence for one of their own. He knew that Jun would have been worried had it been any of the other members, but knowing the recent development between Jun and Sho only made things worse. Everything about Jun right then and there screamed of wrongness, and yet, looking at the stiffness with which Jun held his shoulders, Aiba didn’t want to make things any more difficult. Still, he worried about how sensible it would be to leave Sho in Jun’s care when the latter was still emotionally fraught.
“Promise. Promise me you’ll call if anything-…for anything,” Aiba placed a sympathetic hand on Jun’s shoulder. “Okay?”
It took several breaths before the rigid shoulder under his touch relaxed just that little bit, accompanied an almost imperceptible nod, but it was enough to comfort Aiba.
It had to do. For now.
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Click here for Cloud 6.3.