in all my life, in everything i've been thru, everything that happened in jersey, all the names i've been called- nothing, ever, was as nasty, hurtful, or just plain spiteful than what i've been called now. I can't stop shaking. I can't breathe. I should be angry. I should be livid. instead I can barely stand ( Read more... )

i've got it. if i cant make it to England and everything else falls through at least i know where i'm going.

damn those little pyschic urges, they really are wonderful sometimes.

after a long night of no sleep, a brain that wont shut up and too much Glee, i am left with only one thing in my noggin.

maybe all this is just absolutely pointless anyway.

there. i said it. maybe now i can get some damn rest.

i'm so close so close omg i can taste it and why is everything going wrong???

breathe. having a heart attack and dying wont help right now.

breathe.

oh my god oh my god i cant do this, cut this all off but i have to, there's nothing else to be said, it has to be done and over with otherwise i will never move on and nothing will change. and i will always yearn for something that doesnt exist anymore. bad enough i'm already emotionally stuck on someone else. but to have you both hanging around is ( Read more... )

fuck it all ( Read more... )

i am too tired and too happy and too busy and have waaaaaay too much to say on here right now, plus my eyes are bleeding from uploading about 500 pictures of this summer just now on facebook. i will update soon. promise.

i am so bored and sickened by everything.

that is all.

its 6:56am and i havent slept. beginning to feel the baby stages of summer insomnia kicking in ( Read more... )

so i cancelled upstate because i simply cant do it, i've been up crying all night and gave myself the first cluster in days, a baaad one that literally came outta nowhere, no warning, no tingling, just PAIN immediately that shocked me outta bed and sent me screaming for my mom at 2am. the worst part was that while i was lying on the couch shaking ( Read more... )