I am moving to Oklahoma for an indefinate amount of time... this is bad! Hangover is not helping... but I don't want to move... well I do but not that far!! It could be for a few weeks or for a few months... or until I turn 18 and move back here for the last half of Senior year which will suck cuz I don't want to go anywhere but here with my ( Read more... )

My mom is a Bitch... DIE BITCH DIE!! she fucking read my poems.. she says they're good.. never stop writing... it's a beautiful thing... but that's not the point ( Read more... )

I am fucked up... Irish creame yummy... and vodka with crannnbary juice.... i can still walk without falling... i think im gonna be sick but I am having fucking fun... Rachel made me a drink... Mom made me my second... now Nikki's gonna make me my third.. and then we'll see how well me and Mando get along... He's my fucking brother from another ( Read more... )

my song that i've been listening to non stop is called "how to be dead" by snow patrol... the song has nothing to do with 'how to be dead'.. i like the name but it doesn't fit... i still love the song... here are lyrics ( Read more... )

Now I am calm... it's easier to think clearly but I have to do it slowly... I got something I needed but couldn't get and now that I have it I'm ok... cryptic? yes I know but that's ok because Im not rewriting it... just trying to think pretty thoughts... which usually mean they're pretty to think of but won'thappen... like me having kids... or me ( Read more... )

Ryss wants the old Jes... Brandi wants the old Jes... Caci will prolly say the same thing... prolly Chelsea too... but how do I be here.. how do I be me? the real me not the one I am now.. the old me? Sometimes the old me got depressed but talking helped now it doesn't so much anymore... a little but not alot what changed? what made me this way? ( Read more... )

It feels like my lungs are filled with black... something... Chelsea and Ryss are dating.. i should be ok with it.. i am ok with it... Chelsea got what she needs... and that is good... so it's ok... and i'm ok with it... but sometimes I lie to myself to make myself happy... but i shouldn't dissillusion myself to thinking things that aren't true ( Read more... )

Ok so she wants to give up again... nothing I can say or do will change it so why do I fucking care so fucking much? and why do I hate how much I care... hating yourself for caring so much... didn't know it was possible.. but anyways... none of this is important ( Read more... )

I am making a new journal cuz I'm sick of the old one... no one cares so whatever... To many things that I want to say but won't... nothing matters now