Test was worse than I could imagine. But I still have a chance of passing so I get a few months of reprieve. It's cloudy and cold, and I'm lonely and tired. All the things that psych types say lead you to do the unhealthy things you went to see them for in the first place.

If any one is out there. let me know.

I've been in school to long. Way, way to long. And I might have to finally end it, give up, admit defeat. finally stop swing at balls. It all depends on how I did on a test. If I have to drop the class. I'm done. I can't finish my degree in time. and I can't do anything else. If I have to drop, I'm thinking of joining the army. I'm still young ( Read more... )

Just finished reading Wicked, the life and times of the wicked witch of the west. I'm of separate opinions of it. On the plus side, It is well written. Gregory Maguire isn't as darkly elegant as Neil Gaimen nor is he as sparse as Hemingway, But he can carry the narrative reasonably well. His characters have a Falkner Qualty, even in the land of Oz ( Read more... )

I can't sleep, so I'm working my way through all the things I used to do quite often ( Read more... )

I"m 25, it's 2004, at some point you would think that you could let go. School has started and I was doing fine. my businesss isn't growing, but I have never been very good at talking to folks. but then I just stopped. Today I've allowed everything to backslide. What the fuck you know. I did get a wonderful present from my aunt. tickets to my first ( Read more... )

Today, while I was eating dinner and waiting to take an evening test, a bit of an old life walked by. She said hello and smiled at me and I stared at her blankly for a moment; I didn't recognize her at first, and by the time I did, she was the past again. Her name was Meagan, or Mellisa or some M name like that, and She was going to be a ( Read more... )

Today I was painting. I had a great idea of a landscape of a stormy beach with a lone figure standing in front of an oncoming tsunami. I felt the image would be wonderful. courage in the face of impossibility, Standing against something infinitly larger and more powerful than you. It didn't turn out well. My skill just isn't good enough. So I ( Read more... )

CAn you stand?
can you here?

Can you stand one the cliffs edge
And hear the break of surf.
Can you stand against it.
can you let it wash over you
can you hold it back
Can you hear the cries, the shouts, the joys.
can you here the future

The ground was to hard to bury her correctly. It was only a foot and a hlf to two feet when I couldn't get any more. When she was in the grave it wasn't very deep at all. They took my baby. my imperfect form. they ran her doen and left her in a neighbors porch. and she died on the way to the hospital. but she was so still you coundn't tell. It was ( Read more... )

I was so woried about my test last night that i didn't sleep. So it was an all nighter of me boneing up on diffieq interspersed with brain fry breaks. Over all I don't think I did very well on the test. But, I don't think many other people did either. All I want is to pass though. I don't think I care much after that.