In the very near future you will be receiving a visit from one of my mice messengers with instructions on your part in my plan for global domination. These brave rodents have been threatend with risked life and tail to bring you my commands. Obey them as you obey me. After they have delivered the message you may, of course, brutally slice them ( Read more... )

I cannot believe this silliniess on pets_elite. As if I need a vote to be elite? Silly h00m0ns. My ancestors were ruling the Tigris and Euphrates whilst your ancestors were struggling to walk upright. I am of royal Persian blood. Silly humans. You think your little voting schemes mean anything ( Read more... )

My silly h00m0n was chasing me around tonight with the damn camera. Wanted pictures of me for pets_elite. Yes. I am going to kill her in her sleep.

It's sad that it has come to this, but I think I need a new set of minions. The old ones just aren't performing like they used to. Plus, my view of the city has been blocked for days and the Big Guy keeps hogging the internet. So, without further ado:

SSDP (Single, Smoke, Despotic, Persian) seeks subservient eager home. Your bed and tub must ( Read more... )

As part of my 'kinder and gentler' image makeover, you may now refer to me as your 'benevolent despot' rather than your 'evil dictator'. We will also celebrate my birthday with cake and ice cream rather than the usual executions.

NOW GET BACK TO WORK!!!

It seems my plans to get the weather systems under my control have been a great success!! SNOW!! IN APRIL ( Read more... )

If the BIG GUY theonebob (see, I can use lj commands, too) calls me MO MO just _one_ more time, I am gonna hack a hairball up in his underwear drawer. At least he fell asleep on the couch last night, which gave ME plenty of time to curl up with Mom angelsil, who wasn't feeling so hot. I noticed on the board that they are planning on going away this weekend (yes, ( Read more... )

Mom is VERY stressed right now. She's not sleeping well. Thus, since I sleep on her head, *I* am not sleeping well. She has asked me to summon my dark minions from Mordor to assist her in her evil plans. This I have done ( Read more... )

It's too cold out for me to make my escape ( Read more... )

This whole 'lack of fur in Winter' thing is NOT funny. I want my coat back and I want it NOW