Its 3am and 75 degrees. Im drunk and theres a bad storm rolling in.

Spring break '99! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Any one who satisfies the following two desiderata, please respond ( Read more... )

Empty Bottle of Jameson I Just Threw Across My Bedroom
                                         RIP                         
                              You will be missed.

2005 - 2005

Sometimes I doubt my masculinity.
Then I remember the vegetable drawer in my fridge contains nothing but cheap beer.

God bless America

I got totally trashed last night, and didnt spend a dime. Hooray grad school! There was a colloquium, which has free wine afterwards. I think i drank a bottle.. before my advisor left. Then the grad school holiday party. Which had an open bar. Two tiny words, which alone mean little. Put them together, and they are the most fantastic thing ever ( Read more... )

Here's what James Towey, Assistant to the President and Director of the Office of Faith-Based and Community Initiatives, said in an online Q & A session in 2003 ( Read more... )

Tonight I was sitting at an intersection singing & cardancing to 'the skin of my yellow country teeth' by my new favoritest band. The light turned green. I drove. Then some impatient "i cant wait a whole lightcycle" asshat comes screaming through the intersection in a 30-second-late left turn. I hit the breaks. Then I hit him. Then he drove off. ( Read more... )

To my friends - I recommend, no, I demand, that you all find and watch R. Kelly's "Trapped in the Closet". Only the first 12 'episodes' exist.. apparently he's going for 20-some or 30. I know this recommendation sounds weird coming from me, but trust me on this one. You wont be sorry. Freakin' awesome.

...all the ladies in the house say 'OH SHIT'

( Read more... )