The Others

[naomi_campbell]

Disclaimer: This is just an abstract question about something my friend and I disagreed on, I'm not in this situation.

Do you think that someone who knowingly gets involved with a person who is already taken is just as bad as the cheater, or does all the responsibility fall on the person who is actually in a relationship?

Comments

[redheadedrebel]

Yes, it's just as wrong as the person in a relationship to do that!

But I'm very much a fan of "if you are going to cheat on me... please just break up with me instead." I much rather deal with a breakup then finding out you cheated on me... I think that hurts me more.

[smashionista]

Neither.

Getting involved with someone you know is in a relationship is a dick move and is probably a lose-lose situation for everyone - like, the person will probably never leave their SO for you and if they do, do you really want to be with someone who is so untrustworthy?

However, it is ultimately the responsibility of the people in a relationship to trust and respect their partner(s) enough not to lie and sneak around behind their back. It is not the responsibility of "the other woman (or man)" to prevent the cheating.

[cannablissful15]

Falls on both

[stalkingsilence]

I think it makes the other person kind of an asshole when they actively pursue someone who is already in a relationship (and that relationship is strictly monogamous or if this is outside the confines of what is deemed acceptable within the relationship).

However, I think the largest burden rests with the person IN the relationship who is cheating on their partner. It's easy to blame the other person, but they're not in the relationship and it's not their responsibility to consider the feelings or show respect to the other partner.

[bedesiderata]

Hm. No. The one in the relationship bears the brunt of the responsibility.

However, I would not choose to be friends with, date, or otherwise willingly associate with a person who knowingly dates people that are supposed to be in monogamous relationships with someone else.