Started studying a baking course this year. Figured I should be getting my life together, starting a career. University hasn't panned out no matter what I do. My own insecurity and fear bubbling within and shutting me down, I guess. Shutting my body down. Happens when I work, too. It elevates any level of stress to nuclear proportions. Start ( Read more... )

I had a tutorial at uni today. I was tempted not to go at all, considering my chaffing and weariness from all the walking has been catching up. It's amazing how noticeable it is when you have business to attend ( Read more... )

In two days I will resume my study at university. It will only be part-time, as I failed the last semester. All my fault, of course. I let myself be overwhelmed by the difficulties of walking to campus and interacting with people. Not to mention having to adhere to a schedule of study. It's hard to sit down and listen to all the things you've heard ( Read more... )

I've managed to stabilise my diet by narrowing down a consistent set of ingredients in all my cooking. A jar of simmer sauce, and a handful of vegetables. The cheap sauces at the stores nearby are all revolting. The only decent tasting cheap sauces come from ALDI. My nearest ALDI is just over 5km away. This means that I must take a 10km walk every ( Read more... )

I want to be in order. I've not had the wear-with-all to do what an average human can do in their life. I understand that it's not something that descends from the heavens one day to inspire in you the spirit of a new life. It's something that needs to be worked at. To get used to; that eventually folds into ones being ( Read more... )

I was hoping to go for that job with the postal service. But my chance of getting that job relied on my sister calling a particular number as soon as possible, as both of our names could be thrust into the work roster during the chaos of my younger brother leaving. Rather than call immediately, my sister left it for almost a week. We missed our ( Read more... )

My two younger brothers have been involved in the postal service for a while now. Delivering packages and making do with their lives. It's something that I'd had an interest in doing, as it seemed a nifty job. Something that I could, at least, do to earn a survivable wage and get the experience to apply for something decent (if not sticking with it ( Read more... )

Today I looked up the airfares for a trip to Japan. It seems I would have been able to go there and back if I hadn't bought the new mattress, glasses, or loaned that family member money ( Read more... )

I've been trying to scrape together a few dollars in my savings account to cover unforeseen future expenses. You never know what's going to pop up. This bundle of money was giving me hope that I might be able to move into a place of my own, or buy a car if I found a job, or be covered if things went south ( Read more... )

My grandmother passed away a few days ago. She had made it clear that she was only holding on to see a few relations before she went. The last was my mother. I've known Gran for my entire life. 'Grandog,' we once called her. She had that kind of cantankerous vitality that made one think she would last forever, if only to warn you that she would ( Read more... )