ahhhh insomnia.

i fucking hate this.

i hate myself.

winter break has been awesome so far :)

i knew i had to say something because all i could hear was "i felt it coming, and i ignored it" from my ninth grade diary.
anxiety attacks are never random.

i was just thinking how it feels good to really know what you want.

this is going to hurt so much in the morning.

i wish you could have just told me what i needed to hear when i needed to hear it.
there was too much doubt.
too much "i'm just not sure."
if you know, then you know.
and if you don't, then it's just not strong enough to survive the hard times.

i hate reality, and i hate endings.

and i'm bottling up your sweet dream-like scent in ny head for the ride home.

for the first time in i don't know how long, it's just me.
sometimes i forget i'm actually a person.
i care too much about everyone else to ever worry about myself.
well look where that got me...

i don't know how many glasses of wine later, and i've lost it.
oh god im going to be sick.