It is so funny that i never remember this thing i have so much zeal to write every day and then i write one entry and forget all about it. I have over a year clean now i can't believe it. I am still with my boyfriend we've now moved in completely together officially. It is beautiful he is beautiful life is full hectic crazy and busy and i love it

Well since last time I entered I relapsed several times hence the whole not entering thing. But now I've been back in recovery for over 5 months. May 8th it will be 6 months. Life is like a whole different universe I am living on. I have a totally different job working in Teaneck which I had to do cause work in Monarch was a danger zone to me ( Read more... )

I feel like life has been a whirlwind lately. I remember when I started this i said I would type every day and then now I get so wrapped up in life I haven't for so long. Things are going really well. I've gotten very involved in my program. I'm the chairperson for my women's meeting on Friday nights and that is so fun. I'm a GHIR for a Sunday ( Read more... )

I miss writing lately. Seems like it's been so long...I have been so busy with meetings and goin out with fellow addicts. Trying to leave no time for myself to think and slip back into my old ways. Lots been goin on. My ex keeps asking me to go over and I keep tryin to hold strong saying no. I finally told him on tuesday night that I had to ( Read more... )

Day 28 ( Read more... )

Well this is the official beginning of a new day. I am absolutely amazed i made it this far. And the only way I have is through making sure I make a meeting almost every day. I know the days i miss a meeting I feel miserable. And I went to an NA dance this weekend and it was fun but very weird dancing clean and sober. I felt so weird. I felt ( Read more... )

Yeah I'm in the double digits. This will be short because i am in desperate need of some video game playing and want to work on my first step. I went to an NA sponsored bowling thing last night and out to the diner after and had such a good time. I'm feeling good today. Still have that anxious tense feeling but it's not as bad. I feel like i ( Read more... )

I just got home from watching Meet the Fockers. Funny all week i thought it was spelled Faulkers until i went to look up movie times. lol. Today was another good day because i am goin to bed tonight clean and sober and that's all i can ask for right now. And today a great thing happened. I got a sponsor. I'm gonna call her D in my journal for ( Read more... )

Today was starting out to be a really sucky day and ended so wonderful. I was very anxious today and thinking a lot of bad thoughts and keeping myself down. But a friend from a meeting called and asked me to go a meeting tonight and I'm so thankful for her right now cause it was a great meeting. It gave me hope and helped me to realize i really ( Read more... )

Today I am very anxious. It's day 5 of being clean and sober and I'm freaking out. I feel like I'm ready to crawl out of my skin. My mind is constantly racing and I feel so tired but can't sleep. Last night I slept for 2 maybe 3 hours total. I just laid there unable to get comfortable unable to be at peace. I feel better today but i still ( Read more... )