Learning to be compassionate

[dblmagus]

I wonder if compassion is supposed to be an inherent quality or a learned quality. If its a learned quality, what does it say about the environment I grew up in that compassion is something so hard for me to have? I don't naturally act in a compassionate manner to anyone but those I am close to(jess, friends, animals), and this doesn't really

Comments

[dblmagus]

I'm not aware of having suffered from anything in particular that would qualify as "traumatic separation, neglect, or abuse" in that age range. But then its not exactly easy to remember things that happened 23-24 years ago as it is. Its probably not quite that since as I mentioned below in response to Brian, I tend to do well in those tests, but I guess it could be that I just know those things in an intellectual manner rather than a developed behavioral manner.

I should probably look into some more of the Buddhist practices then since it would likely help. If not for the learning of the thing, then at least for helping to over come that which buries the compassion.

[psyllogism]

Another perhaps cliched "disorder" is Asperger's or some other thing on the Autism spectrum. Also sometimes referred to as the "Engineer's disease" or "extreme male brain". Many of us geeky guys probably rate somewhat strongly on that scale; I know I often have trouble "putting myself in somebody's shoes".

[dblmagus]

I don't think I have much trouble thinking of things from another person's perspective and understanding them. I just don't seem to naturally Care. Its like knowing how to speak in another language, but not having any desire to do so. I score highly on the empathy and social understanding tests based on reading another's body language and behavior which most forms of autism tend to not really have those capabilities. Most people who I've seen who have that sorta thing don't even know that what they are doing is problematic. I am aware, it just doesn't tend to be something that matters to me.

[archwright]

I'll bring up Todd here. Todd is a man of good moral character, and generally tries to be nice. However, he grew up in a house hold with very little physical or emotional contact. His living situation was more like he was renting a room from someone. During his teenage years he was--for lack of a better phrase--drugged up constantly due to his pysch medications. Again he missed out on a key stage in social development. As such, he's totally incapable of empathy.

If we pretend that there are no magical or black-boxed portions of social interaction, the only thing we have to go with are body-language and verbal queues. These can really only be learned. Granted, it's easier for some people than others to learn, but ultimately it can only be learned.

Zeph comes off as very abrupt to all of my Salisbury friends. (If you can believe that) I'm pretty sure that this is because either side doesn't have a lot of experience understanding the other.