(Untitled)

[god_in_green]

Not sure who I am anymore.

Comments

[archer_in_green]

Hawke pulls Tamas' head into his lap and pets his hair. "You will always be my little flower."

[god_in_green]

[Tamas sniffs and rests his head on Hawke's thigh. He closes his eyes, letting his friend's presence soothe him.] You... you'd tell me... if you could see darkness in me? Wouldn't you? You'd stop me if... if something went wrong?

[archer_in_green]

"I would tell you, but I see no such thing. You are as bright and lovely as always."

[god_in_green]

[He breathes out a sigh of relief. Hawke has always been the mirror he needed to be sure he's safe and not descending into the darkness that brought him here.] I scared, Hawke. The stronger I get, the more in-tune with my powers, the more afraid I am. There's so much darkness and feel like if I slip, even for a moment, I could lose everything.

[archer_in_green]

"Tell me of this darkness you fear, because I have never seen it in you. You covet no power, you desire control only over yourself. What darkness could you possibly have?"

[god_in_green]

Pan. It's him I'm afraid of. Becoming like him. The stronger I get, the closer I get to being as powerful as him, the more I fear I could become like him. He killed my brother, drove my father to madness and turned my childhood hero into a murderer. I can't ever let that happen again.

[archer_in_green]

Hawke listens, gently massaging Tamas' scalp. "I know why you fear this, but the demon doesn't taint your mind. They are your powers, Tamas. It's not the power that makes one do wicked things." He makes a patch of flowers grow in front of them, plucking one to brush across Tamas' cheek. "Do I not have similar powers? I know you know others too."

[god_in_green]

[Tamas reaches out to brush his fingers through the patch of flowers, making the petals dance.] You and your brothers have powers and gifts beyond anything I could never dream of having but... you're born to be a god. I... I was human. This wasn't something I was meant to be. [He rolls onto his back, looking up at Hawke] I... I'm not sure I'm strong enough. I need so much support just to keep going. You. Jason, my Pack. I'm not strong enough on my own.

[archer_in_green]

"We aren't gods, though it is true we're born to our powers. My mother was born mortal. She had her own gifts. When she drew the favor of the spring court she was brought underhill and adopted into our world. If this place were not so odd, and you were not already claimed, I would have done the same for you, brought you home and made you my brother." Hawke brushes Tamas' hair back and tucks the flower behind his ear. "Everyone needs someone to help them along. We are creatures of the heart, not meant to be alone. It is not a weakness to need others, it is a weakness to refuse their aid."

[god_in_green]

[Tamas can't help but smile softy that Hawke would bring him into his family. He reaches up to touch Hawke's cheek softly.] I would have been honoured to be your brother.

[He tilts his head to let Hawke tuck the flower behind his ear,] I need so much. More than the other's realise, I think. Jason looks after me so well but... I'm so needy. More than I should be.

[archer_in_green]

He turns, pressing a kiss to Tamas' palm. "You would have been a most wonderful brother."

"Tell your wolf what you need. I'm sure he will get it for you. You don't know how lucky you are, to have the heart of a wolf. They will do anything in their power to please their beloved."

[god_in_green]

I hope I still can. If not a brother beneath the hill the way your people do.

[Tamas smiles softly,] I am very fortunate. More than I ever repay. I'll talk to him tonight. I hope he'll understand.

[archer_in_green]

Hawke's eyes flick towards the woods, where he knows the wolf is watching them, watching Tamas. "Of course, little brother." He smiles, leaning down to press a quick kiss to Tamas' lips.

"I'm sure he will. Come find me tomorrow, and tell me how it goes."

[god_in_green]

[Tamas smiles into the kiss,] Thank you, brother.

[He sits up carefully, trying not to dislodge the flower behind his ear.] Can I... can I come to see you and your brothers soone? About some more training. I need to be sure I have control over my abilities.

[archer_in_green]

"You are always welcome to come to us, whatever reasons you may have." Hawke takes one of Tamas' hands bring his knuckles to his lips for a kiss. "I will see you again soon. I wish you luck with your wolf."

[god_in_green]

I'd like that. I need to be sure I'm as in control as I can be. And I couldn't ask for a better teacher. Thank you for everything Hawke.

[He settles himself against the trunk of the tree, his eyes closed as he tries to centre himself before heading home to talk to Jason. He has his shields wrapped so tight around himself he doesn't sense Jason's presence.]